Entries
Friday, April 27, 2007
Apologies for not blogging earlier. Was busy with tests and assignments due on the same week. Finally the stressful period is over and i can finally blog in peace. First term's over and it should be a time for pigging out and sleeping in or doing all sorts of things that i enjoy but due to school commitments, we're BARRED from doing either! Imagine, if waking up at 6am every weekday isn't enough, we gotta wake up at a god forsaken 6am even on weekends! For fuck's sake, holidays are meant for us to de-stress as well as to catch up on school work instead of rushing to places we're totally not interested in. Who cares about the business situation in China and the beautiful gardens they have? I've had enough of them in West Lake and now we'll have to see the same old things on Monday.
I suppose the teacher-in-charge isn't understanding enough to provide us with enough rest. Imagine being stucked away from home during our supposed holiday while you enjoy yourself in your hometown?! Fucking put yourself in our shoes man. You're not the one who has to share a room with three other roommates, you're not one who has to wake up early on a saturday morning to attend a talk which may not even affect your future or education in any way. By the way, really don't know what the talk is about. Whatever it is, i can't wait for this week to be over. I need my sleep. I need my break and most of all, i need you to stop bothering us.
I haven't been in a good mood recently. I blame stress to be the main reason but sometimes, whatever you say when you're in a bad mood happens to be the truth, the real you. Women always blame menses to be the cause of their mood swings but seriously, we have mood swings everyday. Its just that you get to show more of your mood swings during your period because you think that's a valid reason and you'll get off the hook just like that. So, just shout away gals, no one's gonna blame you for anything. Even if you're unreasonable, so what? You're having your period and your cramps' killing you! Perhaps when i shout at any of you next time during my period, do take what i say seriously because it isn't everyday that i fuck the hell outta you.
Oooh.. i should just cool it for a minute. Some food for thought, how often are you open about your feelings? Will you bare your feelings to the one you love most? Yes and no. Feelings are meant to be shared but sometimes bad feelings shouldn't be openly discussed especially when your friendship or relationship is at stake. I, for one, don't like quarrels and i try to avoid it as much as i can. Quarrels will only lead to unhappiness. Why risk all that you've got when you can forget about the problem in a day or two? Some people feel that they don't know me enough or that i'm not open about my feelings. Yes, i really ain't. I feel that, instead of talking it out and making us unhappy, why not i cool down and think over a period of time? Perhaps its not something i should be angry over? Perhaps im being too sensitive as usual? I always feel better being alone after a while. Instead of shouting and cursing, why not i just keep my feelings to myself? This way, i can not only salvage the situation but make both of us happier. Yes, i'm an escaper of reality. Sue me.
Here's a poem which i've read in chinese writing class ( to view it, please go to view and click on the unicode icon). I feel for the poem for i'm experiencing the longest distance on earth now. Do enjoy.
泰戈尔的爱情诗《世界上最遥远的距离》
世界上最遥远的距离，
不是生与死
而是我就站在你面前你却不知道我爱你
世界上最遥远的距离
不是我就站在你面前你却不知道我爱你
而是明明知道彼此相爱却不能在一起
世界上最遥远的距离
不是明明知道彼此相爱却不能在一起
而是明明无法抵挡这股想念却还得故意装作丝毫没有把你放心里
世界上最遥远的距离
不是明明无法抵挡这股想念却还得故意装作丝毫没有把你放心里
而是用自己冷漠的心对爱你的人掘了一条无法跨越的沟渠
And here's something from me, an addition to the already romantic poem:
世界上最遥远的距离
不是不能和爱人在一起
而是两人相爱的时候无法真正地了解对方要的是什么
Lovely Angel <
7:06 PM
Friday, April 20, 2007
Time to update again due to qiaolin’s fervent requests. I always wonder why she likes reading her roommates’ blogs when we’re either beside her or behind her and she knows everything that goes on in our lives. However it is, I shouldn’t only think of her and neglect you guys who are in Singapore.
Life’s been real bad for me these few days. I seriously suspect bad fengshui to be the reason. I never did use to believe in it but now I do for bad luck has fallen on the four of us and the best thing is, we take turns to experience this luck! I would rather exchange it for anything! Ql was the first to experience this luck followed by car then me and onto yt. Perhaps I should recount the events that happened two days ago…..
Ql received a call from her dearest last night at approximately 10pm only to find that he brings bad news. Turns out that he’ll be enlisting on the 14th of july, just a day before we arrive! What luck! However, ql was strong and she expected it anyway. Perhaps I wouldn’t be able to take it as lightly as her. Whatever it is my dear, we will always be here for you.
I was the next in line today. I received an sms from my sis at 4pm only to find that my handphone bills reached a whooping $560! How is that possible huh? Just two months into my stay and there goes 600 bucks. Turns out that a minute costs $4! What, is starhub crazy or are they just plain poor, cheating people of their money?! Who would have thought the calls to china would be so damn bloody expensive! Had a long chat with my sis over that and things turned sour. Well, for me as I was very affected by what she said. Hmm.. was I really that bad? Was I what she thought me to be? I never thought anyone would ever accuse me of such acts. I thought I was already matured enough to let go but perhaps outsiders know best. But trust me, I’m not that kinda person. I just hope he doesn’t think of me this way.
Started Hip-hop class today and it was great albeit tiring. It helped me forget my worries for a while. Amanda was right, dancing really helps one forget their troubles cause all their attention’s focused on getting the dance steps right. I do look forward to every Friday then.
Some people just think that they are always right and that I’m the evil one. Is it just me or are people just like that? Thinking that they are always right and never at fault? Whatever it is, it takes two hands to clap. I may be at fault but you’re no better. No one can ever hold a candle to you. I salute you for this. Just blame me dude, just fucking blame me. I don’t ever want to have anything to do with you ever again. Just my luck to have run into you. Just my luck to have you ruin my fucked up life.
I thought this really is the end. I just wanna run away from everything. There are just too many setbacks for me to look at the future with an open heart. Too many worries that I see a blurred future. Can I just let go of everything so that I do not have to face the problems? Can I just forget everything that has happened and carry on as if nothing has happened? I seriously can’t but I’m really at a loss. I don’t even know what to do with life anymore. I don’t even know what you will do with someone like me.
Lovely Angel <
10:45 PM
Friday, April 06, 2007
If you guys see me or any of my roommates now, you'll see that we're all flaunting new nails. Reason being, we had our manicures done today! ql, yt and i all had french manicures while car was a little more on the wild side with pink nails and flowery designs. It was very nice though. I think i should pamper my nails a little more since having a manicure doesn't require you to be a multi-millionaire unlike in singapore where a manicure costs a minimum of a hundred bucks! I could get mine done for as little as 8 sing bucks over here! So don't be shocked when you see me coming back with weird designs! It's part and parcel of growing up! ha ha Although i'm sure SOMEONE wouldn't be too happy over my change. ha ha Don't worry my love, i'm still the same sweet and cute girl you once knew, the one who would love you always regardless of anything. I love you and i miss you terribly.
My newly manicured nails
The four of us
A new addition to my bed
Lovely Angel <
9:20 PM
Tuesday, April 03, 2007
Back, finally
Using qiaolin’s laptop to blog as usual for I can’t log onto to blogspot using my lappy. Apologies to people who have been coming to my blog only to find my entry stuck at some date three weeks ago. I’ve finally decided to come out of my shell to blog as I’ve promised some of you. I do wanna blog actually but my brain’s frozen from the cold so do forgive me if this entry doesn’t turn out as exciting as it should be.
Well, three weeks of not blogging and I’m sure you guys would have assumed that there would be lots to blog but I’m afraid to disappoint you, guys. Life’s been pretty mundane for me except for the fact that I went to zhouzhuang, shanghai and suzhou during the weekends, which I will talk about in the later paragraphs. Weather was pretty good last week with temperatures as high as 20 degrees Celsius but it has taken a turn for the worse as soon as the week started. Temperatures dipped to a low of 3 degrees Celsius! How drastic the change, its no wonder everyone’s falling ill and having the flu. I don’t think I’ll be able to hold out much longer as well. I feel myself getting weaker day by day and if it isn’t bad enough, I’m deprived of sleep too. The past one week has taken a toll on me what with extra activities lined up for us, jogging twice a week and not to mention touring 3 places in two days. I foresee this week to be no different than that of the past with assignments piling up and lots of revision to be done.
Talking about revision, I can’t say I’ve done much for the past one week owing to the busy schedule that I’ve had. I’m getting more and more demoralized as days pass. History lecture’s turning out to be a torture where I can understand no shit from the lecturer. Modern china’s turning out to be boring. Who cares about learning about the political situation in china? I second yiting’s thoughts when she said rather study sang nila utama than Mao Zedong. The only subjects that has caught my interest so far are media writing in Chinese, critical reading in Chinese, Chinese literature as well as Chinese philosophy. Well, at least there’s something I like.
Thank god for yt, ql and car. They have all made my life so much more interesting and merrier. I’ll remember all the stupid jokes we made as well as the tears we shed. Oh man, we’re a bunch of crybabies but who cares? I’ve got you guys and I’ll always be here for you and I know you will be too. Thank you for always being there for me. I know you guys are just sitting beside/behind me right now but some things are better left ‘unsaid’. I love you guys, so much.
Like I said, I would blog about my trip to zhouzhuang, shanghai and suzhou. It was one hell of a hectic two days for us. Not only do we have to wake up real early, we gotta endure the long bus journey and if that isn’t enough, the food for the second day sucked. I enjoyed myself in shanghai though. I’ve never been to shanghai before and I was amazed by the magnificent buildings! It is indeed a shopping paradise but not within my budget which is a sad thing. Let’s not say more shall we? I’ll let the pictures do the talking.
Qiaolin and me at zhou zhuang
Still high from the bus ride
'Whats up' from peijin, jan and me!
Zhou zhuang's speciality - pigs trotters!
Us at The bund (shanghai)
Kar,ql and yt. Oh i love you guys
Night scenery of beautiful Shanghai
Another view of Shanghai
Beautiful Suzhou
Tired from the bus ride
Our favourite, ah lee, singing his rendition of " Tong hua"
I’ve been thinking a lot for the past few days. I may appear strong but I’m actually very vulnerable. Read ‘The constant princess’ and that got me thinking. How is it that we can never predict the future? How is it that one can be happy one moment and unhappy the next? How is it that we can never hold on to happiness? How is it that, even I, find it so difficult to even be happy? I’ve been here a month now. It may seem fast to you guys but time seems to be crawling over at my side. Yes, one month’s down but there’s three more months to go. Can I survive it? I really doubt it. All I’m looking forward now would be my dad’s visit come May. Hopefully I would have cheered up by then.
Lovely Angel <
7:53 PM
