What Words Alone Can't Say
by Nathan Wende

More often than not
Words can't describe
My feelings for you
Which live deep inside
Feelings that grow stronger
With every beat of my heart
I knew you were the one for me
Right from the very start
There isn't a moment
In the day I can find
Where you face and smile
Don't appear in my mind
I long to be with you
And hold you so tight
To protect you and love you
Everyday and each night
We share something so special
Each and every day
A feeling in our souls
Words alone can't say

Thursday, June 28, 2007

Two down, three more to go!

I'm relieved!

17 DAYS!!


Lovely Angel <
7:12 PM


Tuesday, June 26, 2007

It is one of those days again. Those days where i wish i could just rip my literature textbook in half. Those days where i wish i could fuck the hell out of the poets. Those days where i wish i could just fuck the hell outta anyone, anyone who comes my way. Don't make yourself a victim. If you're smart, stay away from me till the day literature ends.

Argh, what the fuck anyway? Judging at how things are, it may NEVER end.

And i miss you dear, so so much. Its times like this that i really wished you were here for me. The distance between us is too long baby, but i've never stopped loving you. Things may be rough but the end is nearing and i'm sure we'll see light soon. I love you baby, so so much. Let's walk this journey together alright?

I've promised you. I gave you my word. I gave you my heart. I will walk this journey with you forever...


Lovely Angel <
7:12 PM


Monday, June 25, 2007

One down, four more to go.

I'm exhilarated!

20 Days..


Lovely Angel <
6:48 PM


Saturday, June 23, 2007

Gone are the 'alots', 'so much-es' or 'never'. Seriously, who are you trying to kid?

I'm tired.

22 days...


Lovely Angel <
6:48 PM


It is all silent around me and i feel the walls closing in on me. I feel stuffed. I look around for a familiar face but i find none. I tried to scream but i hear no sound. Anxiety sets in and i start to cry but there were no tears. I tried to reach for anyone, anyone that i can see but they all seem so far from me though they're just either beside me or behind me. I feel lost. I feel hopeless...

As the mugging fever sets in, one has less and less to talk about. One's just bothered about finishing up their revision. No one bothers to talk anymore. Everyone's glued to their books like nobody's business. One and a half weeks of examinations really can take a toll on one's health. I'm hoping no one falls during this period. It's just one and a half weeks. Isn't it?

And it has become a routine. So routine that words no longer matter. So routine that one doesn't even mean what they say. It's just words after all. Words are cheap. No one means them.


Lovely Angel <
11:32 AM


Sunday, June 17, 2007

People have been coming up to me, complaining about how melancholic my posts are. Yes i do apologize if you guys have been coming to my blog hoping to read something exciting that's going on in China for me but only to find that i'm once again, wrapped in my own thoughts. I didn't ask for it guys. Those thoughts came to me. They keep sweeping into my brain like nobody's business. Someone said this about me, i am like the weather - unpredictable. I guess i really am. I'm really sorry to those who has witnessed this fast change in my temperament. Especially to you, my dear. I'm sorry but i do love you. Let's just hope that this period passes by quickly and smoothly yeah?

I'm left with exactly one month. Just one more month. People, too, have been coming up to me telling me how time flies. I'll be back in 4 weeks! Yes, however happy i am, i still have one big hurdle to cross and that's my upcoming exams. I really haven't been revising much. I've been stucked in my hostel the whole of three days only to complete three assignments which could have been done within 5 hours. Seriously, what the hell am i doing with my life?

Took a trip down memory lane two days ago. Watched the mother of all korean dramas, Winter Sonata and that got me thinking back to the days i first watched this show, the times i had to hide from my dad, the odd hours of the show as well as the numerous times i cried over the tragic fate of the lead characters as well as characters who were affected by them. It got me thinking of my Junior College days. How nice it would be if i could savour every minute of it. A pity i wasted those two years. That show, its characters, all explained the meaning of love but how often will one ever do all these for their loved one? The meaning of a relationship is so vague now. What exactly is a relationship? Even i don't know the answer to this question. If only all would love like the characters in Winter Sonata, there wouldn't be any break-ups would it? Perhaps it wouldn't do either party to think too much. What's yours will be yours, what isn't will never be.

A big thank you to those who have shown your concern to me be it through the little hugs you gave me or the sweet messages over msn. I do appreciate it and Kenny, I'm really happy for you. Remember my Ben and Jerry's ice cream yeah?

28 days..


Lovely Angel <
10:08 PM


Friday, June 15, 2007

Have you ever felt the world tumbling down on you when you've already got the whole world at your hands?

Have you ever felt like a stranger infront of someone you've known for nearly three years?

Have you ever felt so alone when in fact, the whole room is bustling with people?

Have you ever felt neglected when you already have someone who loves you very much?

Have you ever felt like giving up but you know giving up is just another source for sorrows and misery?

I felt the whole word tumbling down on me last night. Tossed and turned i did, count sheeps i did, i did all the things i possibly could for time to pass quickly. For morning to come. And morning did come in the end but it started off badly. My nightmare, from the previous night, started to haunt me the minute i woke up. Gone away are my gratefulness for morning, gone are my cries of happiness. What replaces this is fear. Fear that the inevitable would come. Fear that my nightmare might be a bad omen. Oh fuck you, stop haunting me will you? Stop disrupting my peaceful sleep with YOU in it. I've had enough of you, i thought i had already gotten you out of my mind but there you are, hurting me again even in my dreams.

I've been plagued by nightmares ever since i came here. Plagued by you, plagued by the hurtful messages that you sent, plagued by the person i love most. How ironic. Being hurt by the person you love most, being pestered.. being disturbed..

I'm not in the correct frame of mind to type now. Perhaps we really do have different wavelengths. I just hope you wouldn't commit that again.


Lovely Angel <
10:08 PM


Saturday, June 09, 2007




Lovely Angel <
5:18 PM


Thursday, June 07, 2007

I received one message late in the night. One message that made me happy yet disappointed at the same time. Perhaps it wasn't the content of the message that made me feel this way but the person who sent it. I really am disappointed in you. Is that all you can say? To assure me? I have done everything within my means, everything that i possibly could to assure you. But never once was i ever assured when you said that. Perhaps that word really isn't in your dictionary. Perhaps I shouldn't hope for too much. Maybe i really should reconsider my decision or maybe rearrange my train of thoughts? Or perhaps, like what people say, i should really face reality?

In 5 days, i would have been in China for one hundred days. Having been here for almost a hundred days, i've experienced so much more than i have in Singapore. I have seen so much more. I have had my fair share of moody days recently. I've seen thru certain people. I've loathed their living habits. I wonder if its just me who feels this way but i really do think i've seen thru you. Its an unexplainable feeling but i feel myself drifting further and further away from you and i do realise that i've got less things to talk to you nowadays. I guess i do know you already.

A rather short post today for i have absolutely nothing to write about other than the daily assignments that needs to be rushed and the daily bitchings my roommates and i have. Been awfully tired recently with an average of 5 hours of sleep for the past one week. I need sleep.

I guess sometimes, things are just meant to be as they are. There's no need to look too deep into it. Cause, what's the point even if you know the answer to it? Is there anything you can do? Is there anything you would want to do? Ask yourself this question. Perhaps ignorance is the best solution to any problem. This, directed to YOU.


Lovely Angel <
11:12 AM


Sunday, June 03, 2007

AND 43 DAYS STILL SEEM LIKE A LONG WAY..

So another week has passed, leaving us with just 6 more weeks till we walk on the ground of Singapore. Still 43 more days till we see our family members and loved ones. The journey's getting arduously long. Hopefully we'll be able to suvive the next 4 weeks what with tests and assignments all coming in at the same time. Worries aside, we had fun during the weekends and not forgetting our weekly shopping spree.

The trip to shaoxing was as interesting as our history lectures. I don't deny that China is a beautiful country with centuries of rich history but too much of the same thing gets really boring at times. We woke up at early at 630am on a saturday morning only to be greeted by bad weather. Is it fate or what? Everytime when we have an outdoor excursion, be it to the history musuem or to beautiful Shanghai, bad weather never fails to dampen our spirits. Perhaps we shouldn't have anymore of such tours? Perhaps we should just cancel our trip to Beijing and go home 2 weeks earlier?

A short post today. However, i've uploaded pictures on our shaoxing trip. Do enjoy!


Shaoxing


In Lu xun's house


Smelly tofu!


The garden


Speak no evil, hear no evil, see no evil!


On the 'sampan'


Smelly tofu! Nice...


And she still looks happy..


Our informal shot


Lovely Angel <
2:13 PM

Karmene Yee
30th December 1985
-Good results
-Healthy tan
-Loyal friends