Entries
Friday, January 25, 2008
A tribute to Heath Ledger - I don't want to say goodbye
I don’t want to say goodbye
Let the stars shine through
I don’t want to say goodbye
All I want to do is live with you
Just like the light of the morning
After the darkness has gone
The shadow of my love is falling
On a place where the sun always shines
Don’t you know that’s where our hearts both belong?
‘Cause I don’t want to say goodbye
Let the sun shine through
No, I don’t want to say goodbye
All I want to do is live with you
Together, our two hearts are strong
Don’t you know that’s where our hearts both belong?
‘Cause I don’t want to say goodbye
Let the stars shine through
No, I don’t want to say goodbye
All I want to do is live with you
All I want to do is live with you.
Lovely Angel <
11:35 AM
Tuesday, January 22, 2008
rSomeone said this to me yesterday, " I'm only optimistic when it comes to you." Having heard that, i can't help but be moved. After all, i bet no one has ever held me in that high a regard. I was touched by your words and even more touched by how you felt despite all my thoughts and opinions. I don't know what i can say in return but i can only manage a " thank you, you brightened my day with your words".
Schedule's packed like nobodies business and i only have one free day per week with absolutely no tuition! Can you believe it? The rest of the days are packed with tuition. Let's see, what do i have for this week?
Mon - dance
Tues - Tuition, tuition and more tuition
Wed - Tuition, meeting with dear ql and yt
Thurs - Free day
Fri - Tuition, meet up with dear amanda
Saturday - Tuition
Sunday - Tuition
For the benefit of others, i used to have a life before tuition started to bombard my life. Now tuition is tearing my away from my beloved friends. I used meet my dears once a week and now our weekly meetings have been reduced to once every fortnight! Man, i've missed you guys so much and i hope our friendship wouldn't get any further during this holiday period as i know we've all been busy...
Some food for thought : which hurts more? Reality or the truth?
Welcome home ZY and co.!
Lovely Angel <
3:35 AM
Friday, January 18, 2008
It's one of those nights when i couldn't get to sleep no matter how hard i tried.
It's one of those nights when i suffer a writer's block. No matter how many things you wanna write, things just don't flow.
It's one of those nights i lay in my chair, thinking of the things i could have done. Things i could have prevented.
It's one of those nights i chide myself for being too impulsive. I guess i need to slow down sometimes.
It's one of those nights i take a slow walk down memory lane for the hundredth time and wondering what went wrong.
It's one of those nights when i start thinking on the issue of trust and credibility, giving and receiving, loving and being loved, etc etc.
It's one of those nights when i wish school was just tmr so i can just wake up, meet my friends and forget about everything i thought of the previous night.
It's just another one of those nights when i wish i could be happier.
Oh by the way i sold my Nokia 6680 for a mere $120. I didn't even take a second look at it. No goodbyes, no hugs. I hard-heartedly sold this phone to some ah beng. And to think that phone went thru thick and thin with me. Humans are ruthless aren't they?
Finally collected the last of my TCC pay. Perhaps that would be my last time going back there since the place no longer holds perfect memories for me.
So much for having a writer's block.
Lovely Angel <
4:51 PM
Monday, January 14, 2008
I've decided to give it up. Makes no sense for me to continue when it's only going to make me more tired.
I've decided to give it another go. Hopefully things will work out for the better.
I've decided not to think about it anymore for the more i hesitate, the worse things are gonna be.
I've decided to accept my fate.
I have decided to buy the card reader no matter how much it costs me. It sucks not being able to transfer my photos from my camera to the lappy.
I've decided... but for all the thing that i've decided, i'm still very unsure...
And in just 6 days, ZY and Co. will be back from China. Time flies doesn't it..
Ok, I've decided not to dwell on the past anymore.
Argh.. Fuck it. When has my decision ever right?
Lovely Angel <
11:35 PM
Saturday, January 12, 2008
SHOULD I OR SHOULD I NOT?
The million dollar question in everyone's mind. If only one doesn't have to deal with decisions and choices, how nice life would be. However, life isn't fun if it isn't devoid of choices. Contradicting but true.
I've been faced with a dilemma for the past 2 days and i'm still thinking about it. Yes, sue me. ALL girls are fickle-minded. I guess i should just flip a coin and let nature decide for me.
Yesterday Lee, menghong, joyce and roger celebrated my really belated birthday for me. No photos taken which result in me realizing that i actually do have a sense of shame and not really that 'zi lian' after all. Sweet lee treated me to dinner at pasta fresca and i really enjoyed it. I woke up this morning craving for its fettucine. Don't ask me why it tasted so good, try it and you'll know. The pasta was cooked to perfection and the sauce was good. All in all, 5 stars for that dish! One drawback however, was that none of us knew how to pronounce the italian words stated on the menu which resulted in really embarrassing finger-pointing moments.
After dinner, we headed off to a club at clarke quay and i was asked to present my IC!!! #$%&*!!! Which means i should really learn to dress more sexily if not wear more heels. Perhaps like what Lee said, nightlife in singapore isn't happening till after 12 and i do agree with him. We got into the pub at 930pm (no cover charge by the way) and stayed till 11pm and the dance floor still remained empty with the exception of some girls dancing around their table. NO fun. However i did have my fair share of fun when i asked baby to dance with me. If only i led a wild life...
I enjoyed my day thoroughly as i've not met up with them in long time. Since Lee reads my blog quite often, we should get together to drink again sometime yeah? And we will party till we're crazy. Don't mind me, i'm just a small girl.
如果爱你是罪，我宁愿受错。如果想你是错的话，我宁愿错得心甘情愿。
Lovely Angel <
4:16 PM
Thursday, January 10, 2008
Qiaolin and Yiting have both blogged and i reckon i had better post something or it would really do injustice to the two days of fun i've had with them. It was just months back that we were talking about our much anticipated chalet and on the 7th of January, our incessant talk about the chalet has finally been realised.
Spending two whole days with the girls really brought me back to those memorable days in China. Take a look at this,
Kar to darling: " Baby we're on our way out of our hostel ay no! chalet. haha"
Kar to Ql: "Let's go back to our hostel...chalet. Ha ha ha"
Yeah, its no wonder why we kept thinking we were going back to our hostel (no scratch that!) chalet as we sleep together, eat together and even go out together! It was a nice affair though. The girls started staying over at my place on Sunday and i'm sorry you guys had to 'suffer' during your stay. I hereby apologize to you.
DAY 1 CHALET
The much aniticipated day has finally arrived. We arrived at costa sands slightly after 1 and we were whisked off to the room immediately. What prompt service you might wonder. I guess its only because it was a weekday and no one in their right mind would have a chalet on a weekday! Man, was i wrong! We deposited our bags and left for lunch as well as the arcade for some games. We were thoroughly bored as we were trying to find the newly opened Kbox at downtown east only to be told later by baby that its opening soon and not opened yet at all! Spend close to two hours eating and playing at the arcade as well as buying more stuff for the bbq. Returned to our room slightly after 3 and slacked around till 5pm.
I was thoroughly bored and kept pestering the girls to start the bbq. Talked about many things during the bbq ranging from boyfriends to our own fantasies be it sexual or non-sexual. All the time deciding if we should go to the newly opened kallang leisure park for singing. We decided to go in the end so we foregoed the 9pm show and left promptly at 9 for kallang. Reach the leisure park at 10:30pm and sang till 3am! We were the only customers! We had fun though we were thoroughly tired by the time we reach the chalet.
DAY 2 CHALET
Having spent the night singing away, we slept till 3pm the next day. A day wasted but well wasted for it rained the most part of the morning. We wouldn't be able to get anything fruitful done even if we had woken up early anyway. So we all woke up at 3pm and decided that we would wild our remaining time at wild wild wet. All geared up for some swimming and fun, we got changed and hurried down to wild wild wet only to find that they close on tuesdays! What luck!
Had lunch at Sakae Sushi, played a little arcade before heading back to the chalet for another round of tv watching. Wanted to start our bbq at 8pm but it started raining as soon as ql got the fire started. What a day! Now we didn't have our bbq and the chalet blacked out twice! How lucky can we get?
It was fun though and i wish we could have more of these in the future. I love you girls!
Lovely Angel <
9:39 PM
Sunday, January 06, 2008
I could have been really pissed.
I could have sprouted vulgarities in every message that i sent, every word that i said.
I could have complained to you and wished against all hopes that you would understand, you could feel how i felt.
But I didn't. Not because i was scared, not because i didn't want to but because i understood and respected you.
If i did, why am i still feeling this way? Why do i feel that i've lost the whole world? Why do i look at them and fantasize about the moments i can't have?
Perhaps after that incident, i have become more careful. I don't ever want to be what they call a dependent woman. After that incident, i have completely woken up and have been berating myself since. Why did i ever fucking open my mouth? Fuck you, Karmene. Fuck, have you forgotten what you've promised yourself? He made you lose your pride. He made you unworthy of yourself. He also made you feel like you're the lousiest woman in history. Then why the fuck are you following in her footsteps again and again? You were the pride-less woman, you were the bitch, you were the one he made use of. You were the one he never did love so why the fuck are you repeating all these again? Fuck you, karmene. I wish you could just disappear from this earth.
Don't ever find me again.
Lovely Angel <
11:24 AM
Saturday, January 05, 2008
THINGS GOING THROUGH MY MIND RIGHT NOW...
- When payday's ever gonna arrive
- Whether i will survive this year in a piece
- How will my next tuition assignment be like?
- Why isn't there a single free soul in the universe right now?
- Missing tes badly
- Thinking of the girls.. Hoping that our chalet will turn out fine
- Desperately searching for dates to meet up on weekends as THE boyfriend isn't free so if anyone's reading this post, pls take the hint and DATE ME OUT!
- Wondering what life consists of
- Wondering how life would be if you're not around
- Cursing bitches who spoil my day
Yup its the new year and here i am complaining already. I wonder if its such a good idea to concentrate only on tuition assignments and not finding a decent 9-5 job. I'm afraid i'm not getting enough exposure. However, i don't want to experience another fucked up working environment like that in TCC. If any of you haven't realised, i have stopped talking about TCC anymore and what does that mean? I'm no longer working there so sorry guys, i'm not able to hook up with any mangement trainees to get you guys free drinks. Oops!! Roger better not see this! Haha I do, however, still have my tcc discount card which gets you a 15% discount.
I don't know why i'm typing this entry in the first place. I guess the bottom line's that i'm bored. Oh i met Sarah today and i've missed her so much. Stood in the middle of parkway and started chatting for half an hour. It was nice to see you girl even if its for a while. Meet up soon again! I love you.
Ciao guys...
Lovely Angel <
1:50 AM
Thursday, January 03, 2008
Happy 2008 everyone!
It's a new year.
Let bygones be bygones.
Everything starts afresh.
Hopefully this will be a happy year.
P.S. looking forward to my chalet with the girls!
Lovely Angel <
5:19 AM
Tuesday, January 01, 2008
My last post for the year 2007. I would have like to say that this year was like all other years - boring, but in all honesty it wasn't. This year has been one hell of a rollercoaster ride. I've had so much to experience this year from leaving loved ones to studying overseas, making and breaking of relationships, etc etc. A nice recap for the past one year.
January
Celebrated my third month anniversary with baby at cozy bay.
February
My second chalet my darling
CNY at roger's
March
China trip 2007
April
Shanghai
West lake
May
Dad and sis's visit in China
Huijun's birthday
June
Shaoxing
Shaoxing with my girls
July
Beijing
Last two days in China. Home finally
Back to darling
August
My first NDP rehearsal with darling
September
First Kiss anniversary
Farewell to my dearies
October
First year anni!!
And i love you
November
YT's sweet 19th birthday
December
Christmas!
22nd birthday
This year has indeed taught me one too many lessons. It has taught me to open my eyes to the people around me. See through their hearts, listen beneath each and every word they tell you and feel their sincerity (hypocrisy). Its ironic how people claim to be your close friend but forget you the minute something big happens in your life (e.g. your birthday). It's scary how someone tries so hard to make you feel bothered about something that happened in the past by pretending to be close to you and its completely idiotic by trying to affect me with silly nonsensical talks of the past. Grow up bitch, life's so much more than wanting people to be jealous of you and i'm sorry if you're still hanging on to the past.
No resolutions for the coming year just hoping that i will be happier in the months to come and i love you my baby darling. May we have a happy future together!
Lovely Angel <
1:50 AM
