The emancipation of me

2008-10-30T18:55:00.000+08:00

I've moved. Please contact me if you're interested in knowing my new address.

2008-10-11T17:27:00.005+08:00

I reckon its because i haven't been updating in the longest time that my chatbox has past its expiry date. Now, no one can post their comments on my blog. Also, i've been too lazy to subscribe to another one.

I have promised pictures for this post so here it is. The past one week has been a hell lot of fun for i celebrated my sister's 21st birthday at Mariott as well as my 2nd year anniversary with my darling.

Gonna be a very picture-ful post. So i shan't say much and let the pictures do all the talking!!

On the way to mariott. Stomach was grumbling cos i got lost. Can you imagine?

Finally at mariott, after having some really good sashimi

Me with the birthday girl. Reminded me of myself two years back.

My whole family

Second year anniversary celebration started off with flowers from darling!

Suntanning begins!

Spokesman for banana boat?

On our way to sakae!

Before heading off to songs of the sea

Songs of the sea 1

Songs of the sea 2

My favourite part!

Dinner at suburbia. Man, am i missing the bread now

Kisses!!

Goofing around. Thank you baby for the wonderful surprise. I love you so much

2008-10-07T14:05:00.002+08:00

I know i havent blogged for the longest time and i couldn't resist putting a mark in this blog on this special date.

Happy 2 years my darling. Thank you for walking through thick and thin with me.I love you and you are all that i need. May there be many more two years instore for us.

Pictures will be uploaded in the next post, i promise. For now, please bear with the lack of updates!!!

2008-09-14T09:55:00.004+08:00

Another week has passed and i'm sure many are rejoicing over the fact that recess week is finally here. After 7 weeks of non-stop rushing of assignments, we can all finally take a break from the hectic life that we've had and stop to enjoy the little things around us.

Had a family dinner at Long Beach seafood restaurant last friday and i regretted not taking much photos as i clearly wasn't in the mood that night.

However, i had fun with qiaolin before meeting my family for dinner. Went down to AMK Kbox as Bishan Partyworld closed down. It was a great chatting session and thank you for always being with me.

People to be thankful for. I love you girls, i really do.

2008-09-14T09:55:00.003+08:00

Finally week 6 is over and that means the bulk of my assignments are over as well. It has been a truly long half semester and i'm sure all of us are looking forward to recess week where we can have all the time in the world to just slack and wake up really late.

It has been a fun weekend for me. Went out with my dears to orchard. It has been so long since we last went there together. It was nice for we had a nice lunch at coca steamboat restaurant but i had to leave for an interview. Sorry guys, ktv during the recess week? Can't wait!!!

Darling and i went to lao beijing yesterday for high tea buffet. We had zha jiang mian, xiao long bao and jiao zi! So full after that that we skipped dinner altogether!! Met up with john, ber, kenny and ZY at Marquee for Man U match. They played terribly and we all left unhappily.

Pictures!!!

Man... the spread at coca. I'm hungry again

Fooling around.. that's our forte

My sweets

Xiao long bao @ lao beijing

A picture of us. I love you baby.

2008-09-01T20:25:00.005+08:00

Yup, i'm back again with my weekly post. It's been a hectic one week but i'm glad to say that i'm done with the assignments i'm supposed to hand in next week. So technically, next friday's party day. Planning to ask people out for clubbing. Let's just see how it goes... No one wants to club with poor Karmene.

Met up with chin and joyce last friday and we headed down to dempsey! It was a costly affair for we all spent 100 bucks each! But it was money well spent. We opened a bottle of wine to compliment our dinner at PS cafe then we headed down to oosh bar for more drinks. I swear we were totally tipsy but we couldn't have bothered for we had fun and did i tell you guys, i haven't laughed like tt in the longest time.

Time to start running again. Its been a week since my Nike Human Race and i've not jogged till today! To think i wanted to run under 1hr for my standard chartered marathon!!! I must work really hard if i wanna beat my own record then.

Last but not least, happy 23rd months my darling. We're reaching the two year mark and i thank you for everything that you've done. I love you so much.

Once again, its pictures of pretty karmene again!!!

The much raved about PS cafe!!!

Its been ages since i last took a shot with my sweets

A family portrait (joyce u know what i mean)

The nice ambience at PS cafe

Filo basket. Its actually sliced fish with cream sauce. Yummy!!

Coconut crusted sea bass. Another yummy dish!

Chicken Rossa Penne. Love the chicken!

Cheers to our friendship!

Room for more? We ordered a carrot cake and it was awesome!

The three of us together before heading to oosh bar.

granny loves you

@ oosh bar

trying out the smile shutter function of the camera and it came out perfectly

A random shot of huijun and me in school

2008-09-01T20:25:00.004+08:00

Again, i'm back to update my blog. It has been stagnant for one week and i believe my readers are dying to see more pretty pictures of me.

Darling and i took part in the Nike Human Race. Kudos to the both of us for completing the race in less than an hour and a half! It may seem long to you guys. Laugh all you want but i'm glad for the achievement, given the fact tt i had to go to the loo two times during the run. Those who know wad happened, do NOT laugh. Also, the roads were jam packed with people at some point in time thus delaying our finishing time. No, we're not defending ourselves. We could have finished in an hour and 10 minutes or so. However, i'm not about to be defeated for i'm going to start training again for my standard chartered this december! Hope to finish in less than an hour!

Anyhow, i thank you, my sweet little darling for accompanying me for the run. I could never have done it without you. I love you.. so so much.

Assignments are piling up but i still love school. Photos peeps!!

Darling's number

Taken before the race. Kinda tired after shopping though

To those who haven't noticed, yes, i've cut my fringe. Dont i look cute?

Shagged after the run but still energetic enough to take silly pictures

I couldn't resist not taking this!! A drive thru ATM!! WOW!!

My girls, i love u so so much. Thanks for always being there. Nice couple shirt you have there, yt and ql!

2008-08-24T10:18:00.004+08:00

How long has it been since i last updated? A week?

School is into its fourth week now and i can fully feel the full force. I've been swarmed by projects since the third week and i've been faithfully trying to complete each and every one!
However, i suffer from a short attention span and i tend to spend only 3-4 hours a day in assignments.

On the whole, i still love school. I wonder if its attributed to the fact that this is my last semester that i treasure school more. Still, 8 more weeks to the end of school. Time really flies. I'm already in my fourth week. I guess i will miss everyone i've gotten to know...

Some pictures for ur viewing pleasure since i haven't been uploading pretty pictures of me.

One week ago, marisa, darling and me went to the cheesecake cafe for a quick bite.

They serve awfully good cheesecakes and we loved the setting of the cafe

So artsy fartsy, dont you think?

Sweets, i love you.

Taken while waiting for Kenny to come

A very random picture of my dog.

Recently, i got something for my car and i had darling paste it at the back.

Doubt you can see the words.It's " i'm only driving like this to piss you off". Please back off once you see this sign, thank you very much.

2008-08-15T09:25:00.000+08:00

I've gotten a new baby!! Ssshh! Don't tell Roger!! It's a Kia Picanto!! Got it last night straight after tuition. Now, i need not worry about waking up real early just for school. No more waking up early, no more squeezing on the MRT trains! Hopefully this will at least enable me more time for assignments!

Oh and did i tell you that i love school? Assignments aside, school has been anything but dull. I love the dance classes that i'm attending and i love the new friends that i've made! They may have irritated me very much but they do play an important role in my last year of NIE.

Of cos, not forgetting my two dears, ql and yt! Thanks for always being there for me and i love the stupid crazy jokes that we shared!

I'm at an all time high! Test driving with darling tmr to NIE then to beach road for his in camp stuff.

Meeting chin tonight for some booze and i cant wait! Not to worry, i'm not driving tonight. heh heh.

Pictures!!

Qiaolin and me.

She loves herself too much.

Yup, that's him.

Him, again.

Ah... the keys to my freedom.

2008-08-11T08:19:00.001+08:00

HAPPY 2ND YEAR,BLOGGIE!!!

2008-08-10T13:24:00.001+08:00

Yes, i haven't been updating as much as i should. The first week of school has finally passed. It was one hectic week where i got to meetnew friends, strengthen friendships as well as get used to the hectic schedule. It wasn't all that bad for the first week but i foresee the following weeks will be worse. I've not updated in about a week so let's back track shall we?

Sunday

Kenny and Marisa came over for steamboat dinner and we were at a cholesterol high when Kenny brought close to 50 prawns for the 4 of us. I was glad we were able to finish everything we brought. It was a nice and warm affair. Do come again guys!!!

Monday

First day of school always is hectic. We were like busy bees scurrying to our classes, making new friends as well as checking if we're in the correct class. I enjoyed my lessons for the first day. Funny, i was never so enthusiastic about classes. I wanna learn more, see more and read more! I think i may have finally matured... Then again, i've made a new bunch of friends and they light up my life.

Tuesday

School again as usual but this time i was the loner for i was the only one besides tat hua who had to wake up at 530am just to be in time for my 830 lesson. I was almost late and was cursing and swearing all the way to the classroom. Tutorial turned out to be quite fun but i do not like the lecturer. One day, i will correct his way of thinking.

Wednesday

A short day for me as school started at 330pm and ended at 530. It was a slack lesson so i wasn't paying much attention to whatever the lecturer was going on about. It was project runway's rehearsal day as well and i had so much fun laughing along with ql and yt!

First lesson of dance fuzion and we were all greenhorns when it came to hip hop dancing but i had fun with my gesl group members, dancing crazily to the music and trying to keep up with the tempo.

Thursday

Oh, lessons were boring on Thursday and i'm sure YT would agree with me. So glad i've got her in one of my english modules!

Friday

NDP celebration!!!

Sweet kenny peeling prawns for marisa

It was meant to be a candid shot but she noticed me.

SHY

ooh! Hot boiling soup! I'm hungry already

Now you see what i meant by a cholesterol high!

Gion getting ready for NDP!

Slacking and having a good time.

I've got a really good piece of news... Ssshh... All will be revealed in the next post.

And tmr marks the 2nd anniversary of my blog. Woo Hoo!

2008-08-03T08:44:00.003+08:00

School's finally starting next Monday after a 8 month long holiday for us. It was really hectic for the past two weeks, heading to and fro NIE, waking up early in the morning and meeting GESL group members. Yes, we even have a project to do before school starts.

I realised i haven't been blogging as much. Dear Huiling just flew off to Australia a few days back. It was all too sudden. Will miss her very much indeed.

Some food for thought:

"The mediocre teacher tells.
The good teacher explains.
The superior teacher demonstrates.
The great teacher inspires.”

–William Arthur Ward

And i wish to be the one who inspires...

2008-07-27T22:06:00.001+08:00

The weekends just went past like that.

How i want time to slow down.

Darling got me a mahjong set so with any luck, i can start finding for khakis to come to my place for a mahjong session! Thanks honey, i love you so much.

School starts in 7 days. I would give anything to go back to Bedok Green

2008-07-22T18:40:00.002+08:00

It's the start of my 2 weeks of holidays before semester starts once again at NIE and i'm truly anticipating its arrival.

Firstly, i wouldn't have to bum around at home.

Secondly, i would have gotten my long awaited pay by then.

Thirdly, i would be able to save some money hopefully.

It has been a long and tiring year. Tuitions and work took up most of my time from Jan to June. Then practicum came and went. I'm not left with much time for this year. Hopefully i can make full use of my last semester in NIE and make some newfound friends.

Meeting up with the girls tmr as we got called back to attend a last minute briefing at NIE and we're going out again on Friday. We call it the back-to-school shopping day. For them, rather. I guess i will be looking through cameras, deciding on which is the best bargain. If you guys have any recommendations, please do leave me a note.

I've been missing my kids a great deal. Got called back to Bedok Green on Monday as my CT forgot to pass me some notes. To be honest, i was quite looking forward to being back there as i got to see my other trainee friends. They were not the main reason for me being so excited while walking past the main gate. I was actually hoping to see one of my students. I did see one of them however but she was a student from my Primary 5 class. I wonder if my primary 2 kids miss me and wonder if im doing fine.

同学们，有没有想念余老师呢？

I've been bad lately, very bad...

2008-07-17T19:09:00.000+08:00

My attachment came and went.

Today was the last day of my attachment. Tears were welling up my eyes now and then.

Even as i said my last goodbyes to my favourites, i was already missing them at heart.

My CT was so sweet. She got my donuts from donut factory. I will always remember her.

To think i was dreading school reopening. In actual fact, i've been dreading for this day to end.

I've just created a bond with the primary twos and i have to leave. It was shocking to see one of them tearing for my departure. Oh sweets, i'll be back there very soon.

Shall let the pictures do the talking. My primary 5 class pictures are in my other camera. Will upload them soon.

My last sucky meal at Bedok Green

Danielle!!

Nadira and Sally. They have never failed to brighten my day.

My primary 2 class part 1

Primary 2 class part 2

Primary 2 class part 3

My favourite boy, you ren

My favourite girl, ming hui.

Two of my other favourite boys, ren hong and yu hong.

My other favourite girl, hui yi. Such a sweet little thing.

Last but not least, the person who played an integral role in my attachment. Miss Quek Shu Mien!

2008-07-15T19:09:00.000+08:00

I cant believe it.

Teaching practicum will be over in 2 days.

Feeling a little nostalgic...

2008-07-14T08:53:00.001+08:00

Had an afternoon of fun and laughter with Jac, Leen and Lee Loo.

Our initial plan was to just tape a short recording for dearest Jac's wedding but when we found out that Leen's bf's house has this newly installed KTV system, we were so tempted that we headed over to his house instead.

Spend an hour or two singing, video-taping as well as sharing a few laughs. It has been ages since i last met up with them. Everyone has grown up and i'm really happy for jac who has found someone who really loves her and someone who is willing to do anything for her.

Headed to serangoon after that to meet darling and ber for yet another KTV session. Wasn't exactly in good form yesterday but i had fun anyway.

Realised that i haven't been posting alot of pretty pictures of me so here goes...

My very messy table in school. Mood for that moment : stressed. Yet, i could actually fall asleep admist the pile of books and worksheets.

Jac, Lee loo and me at Jun's house.

The four of us. I realised that we haven't took a decent picture since graduation!

The very nice KTV room.

Hong fu with his rendition of "唯一"

Leen and me

Lee loo and me

2008-07-13T11:37:00.000+08:00

A really hectic weekend.

After a tiring Thursday and Friday, i headed downtown for a short meet up with chin.

Thursday had already taken my life away from me for i had my one and only observation from my nsc and i was glad to have done well.

Friday was another observation from my CT and the next would be on the 15th of July. My final observation.

Time flies doesn't it? Just 3 weeks ago i was dreading school reopening for that would mean me giving up on precious sleep time and meet ups with my dears.

I can't tell you how much i enj0y teaching now.

Caught The Vagina Monologues with darling and Friday. Thanks darling, for accompanying me to watch this really feminist play. Appreciated and loved. :)

Meet ups with jac,lee loo and gang today. Looking forward to it but already drained out from activities from the previous week.

Haven't had time to look through my lesson plans for tomorrow. Been procrastinating. And i need a jog badly. I'm in a bad shape.

And its left with 4 days now...

2008-07-09T18:49:00.002+08:00

I couldn't stop laughing. They just tickled me with their silly antics.

“再见” became i miss you.

I couldnt help but laugh at their silly yet innocent faces.

I couldn't help but fall deeply in love with them and wish they were mine...

6 more days of teaching.

It will be another year before i return, Can you guys not grow up so quickly?

Oh, on a side note, I've gotten for myself a new handphone. Yes, its a samsung F480!!

2008-07-09T07:09:00.002+08:00

7 more days to the end of attachment

7 more days to a new chapter in my life.

Tried teaching for the very first time in my life and i was quite satisfied with myself for there were no blunders in my primary 5 class and primary 2 class went quite smoothly except for a short while in which i indirectly caused a small and cute girl to cry. Other than that, i enjoyed teaching!

2008-07-05T07:44:00.001+08:00

The second week of attachment went by in a flash. This week was a pretty much relaxing week for me for normal lessons were suspended for three days, Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday for Bedok Green's annual learning festival.

Here, we got to learn about the different races in Singapore, their culture and what-have-you. It was a relaxing 3 days with us trainee teachers slacking in the common room and only occassionally, do we have to look after a bunch of brats. The only drawback, however, was that we all afternoon session teachers had to wake up at a godforbidden timing of 6am during the 3 days which resulted in us zoning out before the national anthem was sung.

It was a memorable 3 days as i got to know my fellow colleagues and friends better. I feel verymuch attached to the school now and i'm totally looking forward to teaching next tuesday.

There's one thing to rejoice for at this point in time and that would be the very long weekend that we teachers and students enjoy! Monday is a public holiday if you guys haven't yet realised. I think i'm going to spend Monday sleeping in as i haven't been getting enough sleep for the past few days.

Come Sunday, i'll be meeting the girls. It has been two weeks since i last met them and i'm really excited about it. I'm sure we'll have lots to fill each other on.I miss you girls and i cant wait to see you!

2008-06-30T17:55:00.003+08:00

I must have thought a million things before typing this post. I must have typed a million words before deleting everything and starting on it over again. Nothing seems right to me. Everything seems wrong.

Finally i'm into my second week of attachment. I hope time would fly by once again for me. School life's far too stressful for me. I sometimes wonder why i couldn't be like my counterparts who appear so relaxed, like they haven't a care in the world.

Then again, i'm left with just 4 more lesson plans before i can finally enjoy my weekends in peace. It's just 4 anyway, should be able to get it done tonight.

My mind's a blank. I've been having sleepless nights worrying about the first day i start teaching. I've been thinking of all the possible things that could bring me down on my very first day. Every night i rehearse in my mind all those things i'm gonna say infront of my students on my very first day and i end up forgetting them the next morning when i wake up and the cycle repeats itself again. Hopefully the last two weeks of attachment goes by in a flash.

We seem to have a million and one things to say in the past. Now, work has over taken our desire to make conversation. Fatigue somehow, has found its place between us. Has life become so mundane that we no longer have a common topic anymore? Or is it just me? Being out of place with the rest of you? Or have we found something or someone more important than the rest of us? It just seems weird..This attachment, its a curse..

2008-06-24T19:56:00.001+08:00

I was really tired by 3pm but they brightened up my spirits yet again...

2008-06-23T19:26:00.000+08:00

And there you have it. My very first day at Bedok green Primary School and i was greeted by hordes of enthusiastic and highly spirited primary ones and twos.

I had an indescribable sense of high when i heard those high and chirpy voices greeting me "余老师" They were just so cute and you couldn't help but smile. When my co-operating teacher introduced me to the little ones, i was debating if i should smile or appear so stern that they know they will never have a hold over me but when i heard how they addressed me, i was like, fuck it. Let me just make this mistake and i smile my brightest smile.

I love kids.

I love kids.

And yup, you guys know it. I LOVE KIDS! Looking forward to seeing them again tomorrow!

2008-06-22T07:56:00.001+08:00

COUNTING DOWN ONE MORE DAY

I'm excited. I'm anticipating the challenges ahead of me. I can't wait for school to reopen tomorrow. Primary 2s and 5s, here i come.

余老师来了！

2008-06-19T11:47:00.000+08:00

This post officially marks my 201th post for this blog. I can't believe that i've been using this address for the past 2 years to vent out my frustrations as well as to share my happiness with you readers.

Headed to Bedok Green Primary yesterday and i was won over by the friendliness of the staff. Hypocrisy or not, i couldn't care less. The atmosphere just provided me another reason not to dread school re-opening that much. Another plus point would be the fact that i've made some new friends already. Acquaintances i would say but i'm sure our friendship will bloom over the next few weeks.

Arrived really early at 815am yesterday for my first staff meeting at the school and i was really surprised to know that the staff there are really quite relaxed and friendly, especially the senior teacher that was in charge of us. They don't really place much emphasis on dress codes so i assume that its alright to wear jeans to school once in a while.

Attended the staff meeting at 11am after a mini tour of the school and a short briefing by the senior teacher. It was only after this meeting that i look at teachers in a brand new light. Primary school teachers that is. In case any of you are wondering, teachers are still humans. We are as horny and as dirty minded as anyone of you. So please do not regard us as saints. Smile at us and you'll see the once icy mountain melting away...

I'm glad that school hours are pretty flexible in the sense that we're able to choose the levels that we wish to teach. Stupid me, i chose the lower primary without first considering the timings of lower primary classes - afternoon session. Therefore, there is a high possibility that i might be posted to the afternoon session. Its not that a bad thing though, school still ends at 6pm and i get to sleep till 10am. May even jog in the morning once in a while before i head to school.

One tip the senior teacher gave us was that we should try our best not to smile too often. I agreed with her but more often than not, we fall prey to those silly innocent looking faces and smile unconsciously. I do hope i'll be able to maintain my cool next week. As i'm typing this, my anxiety level has reached its maximum. I'm finally looking forward to school. I can't wait to know who my pupils will be.

Played mahjong again at darling's house and i was glad that i wasn't the biggest loser! I remembered playing once at his place and i lost $10 but last night i only lost $3! Kenny was the biggest winner, taking home a whopping $16!!!

Will be meeting the girls tomorrow, our last meeting before school starts. Will we have the time to meet up more often then? However, we've got one really great piece of news don't we?! And we've got huijun to thank for! Thanks for informing us babe!! I was practically shaking when i received your message!

Glad that ZY is doing well in the army though he has been kicked out of training.

Last but not least, chin if you're reading this, thanks for always being there for me. I appreciate it and i love you so much.

2008-06-16T13:30:00.001+08:00

Counting down 7 days

2008-06-14T06:55:00.000+08:00

We finally had our inaugural stay over session at Qiaolin's house not before singing ourselves hoarse at partyworld KTV @ Bishan and gorging ourselves with food at Crystal Jade Kitchen. Maybe we had dinner too early and we found ourselves hungry at a god-forbidden time of 1am, a time when i'm usually asleep. Macs was the only option so we ordered a meal each and gorged ourselves again.

It was a night well spent for dear yt managed to learn the basics of mahjong! I'm sure we'll be playing very soon again and i'm looking forward to it.

With just one more week left to the end of my holidays, i've spent my past one week rather fruitfully. Accompanied darling to the PC show yesterday and he got himself a new Fujitsu Laptop! Happy happy :)

A letter to my dears - YT and QL

Thanks for always being there for me.
You may have listened to my complaints a million and one times but never once have you told
me off, never once have you chided me.
You just sat there, looking at me with concerned eyes and giving me the same advice over and over again. Not once complaining and always so patient with me.
Thanks for being my closest friends. I will always cherish and love you guys.

2008-06-10T20:00:00.000+08:00

In just 12 days, i'll be walking through the gates of Bedok Green Primary School.

In just 12 days, my holidays of 6months will be forever etched in my memories unless i have another 6 months for me to slack around which is highly impossible.

In just 12 days, i'll have lesser time for you, you and you. Meet ups will be totally impossible. Clubbing will be even more impossible except on Friday nights. Sending you towork will be out of the question. Late nights will be a no-no for me.

My life may just be ending in 12 days. I've been desperately trying to squeeze as much time as i can for meet ups.

Then again, i'm quite excited about the coming challenges or obstacles instored for me. Come June 23rd, a whole new chapter begins. Not only will i be faced with the challenges of the working world, my patience will also be tested. I do hope i survive this small test for me.

Come next year, another new chapter begins. I'm looking forward to it though. It may be busy, i may have to scrimp and save but it doesn't matter for I've got plans.

Like what i told yt in January, time crawls when you're having your holidays. However, now that school's nearing, you wish that holidays would be longer. You wish that you've done more.

In the mood for reminscing these days. Had an awfully close encounter with you last saturday. I can't help but be shocked. I can't help but think back on all the happy times as well as the sad times. However happy i was, i'm sad to say that you are a thing of the past. YOU give me the strength to move on. When i lied on your shoulders last night, i knew you would be there to protect me from whatever harm i may come to. When i hugged you last night, i knew that i'm safe and i would be loved by you no matter what.

I'm just being emotional...

My Virgin shot with dearest chin after she came back from the states

2008-06-02T20:15:00.000+08:00

I had an awfully traumatizing experience yesterday which resulted in me commenting this to all my girl pals, " I now realize the importance of a brazilian wax".

Planned to meet the girls at 1pm at Ngee Ann poly to return our graduation robes so being the lazy me, i decided to take the long MRT ride to Clementi instead of taking the bus. Awful choice i would say. When the train was approaching Clementi Mrt Station, i suddenly heard mother nature calling. Was deciding whether to answer it at Clementi station or wait till arriving at Ngee Ann. As i didn't wanna wait another 15 minutes to relieve myself, i decided to answer nature's call by going to the toilet of Clementi Mrt. Once again, another wrong choice.

Seeing that all the cubicles were taken, i waited patiently for any one to open up. One did open up finally and all i saw was this 50 year old aunty with unzipped pants, standing right in front of me. I swear i could see a few strands of pubic hair then. She spoke to me in chinese, " 小妹，你可以进来帮我脱裤子吗？我的脚痛得很厉害，不能弯下来。” I was in shock. I didn't know how to react to her pleas and she continued, “我很急，近来帮我！” With that she pulled me into the cubicle and locked me in. And that just abandoned all hopes of me ever winning in 4D or Toto.

Once in the toilet, she asked me to take off her pants for her. At first, i thought my job was only to pull her pants low enough for her to sit on the toilet bowl. Little did i know that she expected me to remove her pants so that she could pee, man's style. I squatted down and removed her pants from her legs halfway praying that i wouldn't be too slow before her bladder bursts. All these while, i was keeping my eyes to the ground and never once did i lift my eyes to see that great piece of art.

Having done her business and instead of asking me to put her pants back on, she kept ranting about how she fell and what could have caused her fall. I was really trying very hard to be sympathetic but all the while i was just thinking of the huge piece of mess and wondering when she would be humble enough to cover it up. FINALLY, she asked me to put it back on for her so i squatted down again not before hoping that she cleansed her private part properly lest any of her waste drips onto me.

Even after putting of her pants, she still didn't want to zip up and went on to repeat her story a second time. This time, i was thinking of a different thing. I was really urgent by then and i was thinking of telling the aunty this, "其实我现在也很急，你可以先出去吗？不让我可能需要你帮我把裤子脱掉！” She left after 3 minutes and thank god for that.

Ah well, enough of female pubic hair and private parts. Let's move on to something less uptight and more cheerful. I finally met up with chin swee after one year! We had dinner at Food republic then headed down to Dim Sake Bar at goodwook park hotel for some sake and then to acid bar for some really good mojitos. All in all, it was a great night and i'm glad to have you back babe.

And i'm still very much traumatized

2008-06-01T20:15:00.000+08:00

Been really slack these days so i've done a bit of planning for the future. I kinda know where i want to be in the future, i know where i will be headed and i really cant wait to take the first step out of my shell. It will be hard but i will perservere for you. Come next year, i will be faced with a new set of challenges. Details will be up soon if everything goes as planned.

And this paragraph is for you my darling, who has shown me so much care and concern over the past one and a half years. Thanks darling for being ever so sweet. I didn't know love till i met you. I love you so much and i always will.

Feeling blissful...

2008-05-30T20:15:00.000+08:00

A very warm welcome home chin! I've missed you so much for the past one year and i'm so glad you're back. I foresee meeting up with you very often then!!

I read his blog. You were there previously. Why didn't you tell me? Sometimes i feel that i'm living a lie. Perhaps there are still many things you're keeping from me.

2008-05-29T20:15:00.000+08:00

Browsed throught your blog and it brought back many happy and sad memories. Perhaps you were right,we were too young, too furious. It may also be due to my impulsive nature. Perhaps we may have worked things out if we had talked it over calmly. It saddens me to be reminded of all the happy times we used to have and the cruel reminder that we may not enjoy such closeness in the future. Still that photo of us will be forever etched in my memory.

A very back dated post but here are a few photos of darling's birthday celebration. Being the first time celebrating for my love, i was really excited and i was glad that he was happy and felt really fortunate. I love you darling and i will always be here to celebrate all your birthdays with you.

Hmm.. I wish...

Wonder if baby felt embarrassed having to stand on the chair. Obviously, or he wouldn't have roped me in as well!

A closer shot of baby standing on the chair.

A perfect shot of the both of us together.

Us at partyworld!!!

Gay shot 1

Gay shot 2

Happy 24th darling. I hope you enjoyed urself.

2008-05-28T09:37:00.000+08:00

GRADUATE LOR!!!

I have finally graduated from my three years in Ngee Ann Poly. Time flies and the gathering today brought me back to the days when i first stepped int Ngee Ann. The photo taking session brought back many memories as a group as well. If only i could turn back time, perhaps we would all be happy together again. Enough talking, i shall let the pictures speak for itself.

为什么爱你会是那么辛苦的一件事？

2008-05-22T04:04:00.000+08:00

We never fail to embarrass ourselves when we go out. It was the scream fest at swensen's then it was the 'celebrity' dinner at pasta mania where we were treated like princesses due to some techinical problem of theirs.

Yup, met up with my darlings yesterday and as usual, it was a blast. This was the first time going out together since our Thailand trip. Met them at 1pm at Ngee Ann to collect our graduation robes. It's been so long since i last went there and it indeed brought back lots of sweet and bitter memories for me.

Come next Tuesday, we'll all graduate from Ngee Ann and i guess that will be the last they see of us or rather the last we see of them.

Just one more day...

2008-05-16T07:31:00.000+08:00

Thailand trip!!!

Thailand trip with the girls was finally realised on the 13th of May. It was a fun and fuilfilling trip for we've got really good bargains. I've got more clothes for my closet as well as a really cheap Man United Jersey. Original but at a cheaper price of $68!!! Other buys include a bikini, a bag as well as other snacks. The t-shirts make up the bulk of my gains. Like yiting, i will let the pictures do all the talking for it isn't everyday that i manage three posts in a day.

Still in Singapore...

After two and a half hours, we arrived at Bangkok safe and sound

Baiyoke Sky Hotel

On the streets/ Platinum centre

Our buys for the first day

Fooling around in the hotel room/hotel lobby as well as the swimming pool

Sightseeing trip cum reclining buddha cum four-faced buddha

Our most extravagant meal

And its home sweet home for us after that...

2008-05-16T05:38:00.000+08:00

8th May 2008 Day 2 of Bintan

The second day started off really well. Breakfast at the beach club was an awful fare but we did, however, enjoy ourselves at the beach after breakfast. It rained heavily during breakfast and we almost abandoned all thoughts of suntanning. As luck would have it, it was bright and sunny the moment we finished our breakfast!!! Events for this day included a few hours of well-deserved fun under the sun, lunch at the coffee shop, rifle ranging as well as a road trip out to the outskirts for some seafood!

Eggs overload! But it sure looks good...

NOT!!! the rice was dry and cold..

Oops...

Sweetz

On our way back to our rooms after playing in the sun, sand and the sea.

The first shot of the 4 of us. Lunch at coffee shop - Nirwana Hotel

Tried our hands at the rifle range near the swimming pool.

Cool..

Took a 45 minutes ride to the outskirts for our cheap seafood meal. Kenny and marisa

Us

Waiting impatiently for the rest of the food to arrive

Ooh! Kangkong!

On the way back. We got to see how the locals lived.

Goodbye, Bintan

Waiting to board the ferry. Mood of that moment : bored

Yup. we enjoyed ourselves tremendously. I'm glad for the trip.

Next post : Thailand trip. Stay tuned

2008-05-16T00:58:00.000+08:00

I'm back and in much better spirits. To whom it may concern, thank you to all your well wishes. Feeling surprisingly light-hearted now. It could be due to the fact that my family's much more cheerful than how i thought it would be.

Having been on a 'break' for the past one and a half weeks, i realised that i've let my readers down by not uploading my Bintan photos as well as a little quick peek into my Thailand trip. Before i run out of things to say, i had better start by uploading photos from Bintan as well as Thailand.

7th May 2008

Woke up really early at 630am to prepare for my much awaited Bintan trip. I've not been there before and was really excited about going there. Besides, this was my first overseas trip with Darling so that pretty much hyped up the whole thing. Had breakfast at Macdonald's before heading down to Tanah Merah Ferry Terminal to meet up with the rest of the gang ( Kenny and Marisa)

On our way to Tanah Merah Ferry Terminal. Mood for that moment : excited excited excited!!

At Tanah Merah Ferry Terminal

The other couple.

Already in the ferry. Kept perstering Darling to take photos with me lest he falls asleep.

Finally, after 55 minutes, we arrived at Bintan Ferry Terminal safe and sound.

The reception at Nirwana Beach Club

The view from the reception.

Our room number

Surprisingly, the room looks really cosy.

The view outside our room.

We had a feast for our eyes on our way to the Nirwana Beach Hotel. This is just one of them.

The poolview at Nirwana Hotel

Having walked around aimlessly for 10 minutes, we discovered a Hammock. Being the naughty and mischievious guys they were, they decided to give it a try. This was what happened :

Kenny : hey roger let's try leh.
Roger's just lurking in the background. Obviously too scared to give it a try.

Kenny: Ok, i will go up first. You follow after me.

Roger tries unsuccessfully to get up. Kenny: Roger, you're too fat la!! (which i totally agree) haha just kidding!

Final shot.

As we were all tired and hungry, we decided to head to the hotel's lobby for help in transporting us to Pasar Oleh Oleh for lunch.

Pasar Oleh Oleh

As we were all too hungry, we only managed to capture just two dishes from our 6 course lunch. Too busy eating and we forgot all about taking pictures. A great lunch i would say.

Walked around that place for a while before buying a few bottles of green tea and mineral water for our night of fun and games. Had wanted to search for coke bottles but kenny had a serious case of stomach ache so we had to rush back to the hotel!!!

Kenny's constipated face!!!

Took an hour's break before heading out for a romantic walk along the beach. Then it was dinner time for us at Kellong Restaurant where the prices were almost half that of Singapore's. Imagine, $10 for a plate of fried rice! However, it was money well spent for both the fried rice and the noodles were delicious.

Baby emo-ing

Sweetz!!

At the Kellong Restaurant.

I mut have taken an hour just to upload my pictures. Will update on my second day of Bintan soon!!!

2008-05-06T13:16:00.000+08:00

Yes you are right, everything will be over very soon. We will be happier i'm sure...

Off to Bintan tmr. Catch you guys when i'm back.

2008-05-05T10:45:00.001+08:00

It hurts to know that i'm not the one you come to whenever you've got problems. It hurts so badly to realise it from other means. It devastates me to see how you push me away whenever i try to show my concern. Yes, it may involve other people, it may involve other things but don't i even warrant your trust? Don't i ever come to your mind whenever any problems arises?

Disappointing..

2008-05-04T05:43:00.000+08:00

3 MORE DAYS TO BINTAN!!!

P.s. I'm a lucky girl. Loved by you.

2008-04-29T00:22:00.000+08:00

It has been a hectic one week for me.. As i've been missing for just as long, why don't i update you on what i've done for the past one week?

Wednesday

It was ladies night for me and my girlpals headed down to St James power house for our first ever meeting! I would be betraying my conscience if i said the night went by just well for it was F-U-N. Thankfully darling was with me the whole time and i was able to down a few more glasses of alcohol than i was able to. Thanks darling for always giving in to my wilfulness. You are very much loved.

Thursday

Met up with the girls as usual. Had wanted to complete our School Experience forms but we were all too tired or should i say lazy to fill it in. Met at 230pm at Orchard MRT station no less then headed down to food republic for lunch. Slacked the time away at TCC before my first meeting with Issac in one and a half years. It has been a long time dude and you've not changed a bit. Still, it was really nice meeting up with you.

Friday

Had a rather slack day as i've only got one activity on hand and that was to meet Lee for dinner. Met darling at esplanade before meeting Lee and we were just deciding where to have dinner when we were put off by long queues everywhere. Thank god for that little ramen shop at Cuppage Plaza! Whisked off to catch Harold and Kumar after that. I was a brainless show but that's what i needed at that point in time!

Saturday

Another slack day for me for i met up with ZY, darling and gang at crabshack to watch the most important match of the season. It was disappointing though. I know everyone would agree with me on that. Everyone's spirits were down when we left crabshack and that made the whole atmosphere dull. Next season, i shall get myself a Man U jersey!! sponsors anyone??

Couldnt rotate the picture to the actual position. Virgin shot of baby wearing his Man U jersey!

Taken while waiting for the match to start. You look good la dude.. Stop being so vain!!!

Yup, that's what we do when we're bored.. Cam-whoring!! Waited at the starhub roadshow for an hour cos ZY wanted to get his new phone.

Sweets...

2008-04-22T03:25:00.000+08:00

Embarking on a new journey.

Details to be released soon...

2008-04-16T03:14:00.000+08:00

So glad i didn't walk the path less taken.

I wouldn't be this fortunate otherwise.

I wouldn't have that blissful smile the moment i think of you.

I wouldn't have that awfully tingly feeling the moment your hand brushes against mine.

So glad for the unexpected change of events, so glad for you..

Happy 557th day sweetheart.

Not to mention friends to be grateful for. Ql and Yt, thanks for lighting up my life and for knowing me so well...

2008-04-11T21:10:00.000+08:00

It's 6am and i am awake. Not that i have a choice. I've been suffering from insomnia for the past one week and have been surviving on an average of 4 hours of sleep per day. I wonder if my current sleeping pattern is due to the fact that i have a rather slack life of late or for just one simple reason - i think too much.

Seriously, it's scary. Never before have i been so light a sleeper. In the past or rather just a week ago, phone calls or messages never seemed to bother me. However, given the current state that i am in, i get woken up instantly the moment someone calls or messages and i can never fall back to dreamland after that. Perhaps this is one of the reason why i've been quite weak lately.

Apologies to Lee for postponing our date. It was an awful coincidence that i happen to be sick on the day we were supposed to meet. Hopefully we get to meet up soon again. If you're reading this, please drop me a message to let me know of your next available date. Probably have to wait till your exams are over :(

Met up with the girls yesterday and i was really glad that they were there for me. Didn't think i was able to make it at first as i wasn't sure what time dog training would end and i didn't harbour much hope on meeting them. However, lady luck was on my side when it started raining and the trainer had to wrap up the lesson as soon as possible. Met the girls at orchard, sat at the coffee club for a drink then headed to toa payoh for another catching up session.

To ql and yt, i thank you both for being there. You guys just don't know how much i appreciate it. Thinking of you guys bring a smile to my face now and i will always cherish you. :) Loving you...

Its finally saturday. Well, it's just like any other day. The difference is, there's no tuition today. yay!

为什么让我哭笑不得的人是你？

2008-04-11T04:35:00.000+08:00

Huiling sent me photos!!!

I love this picture.. Taken after our ktv session!

Act cute!!

The trio

What can i say? xin you lin xi!!

2008-04-10T12:49:00.000+08:00

This was what i told huijun, "why is it that i still feel this sense of emptiness even when i already have everything in the world?"

Maybe i thought i had everything in the world but in actual fact i had none. Everything else is just a facade.

Everything just seems to be hanging in the air. I don't even know what the fuck i'm typing this entry. Perhaps i'm too bored.

2008-04-08T15:38:00.000+08:00

Oh fuck. You disgust me.

2008-04-06T13:19:00.000+08:00

Met up with the girls on Friday for lunch, KTV as well as our little NIE talk.Woke up at an unearthly 545am just to endure the long journey to Boon Lay.

Felt really weird when i first stepped out of Boon Lay MRT. Not only has it been revamped, many memories came flooding in. It seems that the past 6 months never did occur. I can totally imagine what life would be like in August when we start our final semester at NIE.

The talk last for 45 minutes and we then headed to Plaza Signapura for our sashimi lunch buffet ( for illustrations, please visit either yt or ql's blog) not before walking around NIE and rushing to centrepoint to get Baby's stuff. Apologies to my precious babes for walking endless roads with me. Appreciated nonetheless. I love you guys and i'm looking forward to Thursday where we get to watch Definitely, Maybe.

Baby just left for Japan and i'm missing him already. Had a quick dinner at Terminal 3. Didn't really like the outlook of it though. T3 only has a few restaurants and that led to long queues everywhere. Baby and i decided to have dinner at Harry's instead as there was an empty table among the football fanatic crowd (arsenal and liverpool were playing that night). Pictures will be uploaded when he's back as he's taken my camera. ENjoy yourself honey, i'll be right here waiting for you.

Some photos, courtesy of qiaolin and yiting during our crazy friday meet-up session.

Enjoying my fried hotate.Man.. I'm missing jap food!!

Yiting and Qiaolin. Guess they mut have taken it while i was singing. Why weren't you guys listening to me sing huh?

Oh my.. We completely disgraced ourselves!

We're cute, aren't we?

2008-04-03T23:03:00.000+08:00

2008-03-29T23:05:00.000+08:00

I dreamt that i was blogging and perhaps i really should post an entry. It's been far too long. My blog's so stagnant that its been breeding some really harmful pests. Truth is, i did try to update last week but photobucket had some problem and that led to me restarting my laptop and losing some entries on this blog. So i'm gonna try to use ql's method of posting photos using blogger.

Met up with the girls yesterday and what fun we had! It has become a weekly affair.. It's like a drug you know? You have to have it at least one week or you'll suffer from withdrawal symptoms. And high we did feel from all that laughing and according to yt, her grape juice, which i seriously doubt it. Admit it babe, I'm the reason for your laughters. Ha ha ha. Looks like Friday's girls' day out for us as we'll be having our next weekly meet on a friday no less.

This is gonna be really back dated but darling surprised me with a rented car on Thursday, the night before Good Friday. Thank God for him i would say for he really cheered me up considerably. I know it hasn't been the best week for us baby but i was glad we made it through everything. Brought me to this really cool bar at Dempsey Road call Oosh and ooh did the evening go well with me downing two huge pints of beer! Luckily i had baby to drive me home. Thanks darling, for such a wonderful night out.

The trio at taka before the craziness began

Darling driving his rented car. A really cute suzuki swift!

*waiting for blogspot to upload the photos.. And while i'm at it, i need a tan. Seriously.*

At Oosh bar, when things were still pretty calm

Yeah that's a shot of us when i've not drunk anything. Yet.

Yup, i've had a glass already but baby seems fired away!!

And they say alcohol makes people do crazy stuff. Having drank 2 pints already, i look more normal compared to someone who's had only *gasp* cranberry juice!!

Our only mean of transport for those two wonderful days.

2008-03-18T16:05:00.000+08:00

可能我还是不够了解你

2008-03-11T17:06:00.000+08:00

I seem to be having my term break like all other primary, secondary and junior college students. This week's really relaxing for me as i've been asked to go on leave by one of the tuition kids just for this week alone. Really enjoying the lazy afternoons and the constant slacking not to mention slacking.

It's not even halfway into March and i am broke. I still feel the urge to spend alot of money though. Old habits die hard. I was walking past Charles and Keith again today and i had the urge to walk right in and buy myself another pair of shoes. I couldn't resist the "Final Reduction! SALE! 30%!" sign. However, as i was rushing home, i didn't get in there. Perhaps i will go again on Thursday.

I'm getting really sick and tired of all my tuition assignments and sometimes i wonder why i'm slogging so hard for when i should have ample time for work and play. Well, i've got ample time for work but play, never. Thinking back of all those classes i wanna take before school ended, french, dance, windsurfing, what have you. I just didn't realise any of it save for dance classes. Maybe i really should listen to my dears and not slog till i die.

Been thinking alot on what i've said to you recently, for the past few months at least and i realised that i do not want that anymore. Everything's just a fantasy and i know it will all go away soon. Words are cheap. Someday when you least expect it, you'll realise that you said all these just for that moment because you thought you were in it. You felt so strongly but then when that moment has passed, you think back on what you really say and start to ponder if this is what you really wanted. It isn't, at least for me.

2008-03-08T16:55:00.000+08:00

"It's better to have loved and lost than not to have loved at all"

"You are everything i've dreamed of but everything that's wrong"

"Are you meeting that guy in blue?"

I'm sure you guys would have realised that i took these from the movie The Leap Years. I guess i shouldd reply a 'yes' to my previous question. I have already met that guy in blue. Sweet baby surprised me with a pair of movie tickets to catch the Leap Years after my meet-up with the girls. No wonder he asked me not to be late. Thanks baby, i really enjoyed the movie and you are that guy in blue...

Talking about the girls, i finally met up with them yesterday after disappearing from the scene for two weeks! We laughed, we shopped, we ate and we spent money! It was a day well spent for we got clothes for our teaching practicum and shoes as well. Yt, i understood what you meant by referring to me as the biggest winner having two new additions to my shoe cabinet, a mango skirt as well as a G2K button blouse. Told you we've been working hard at spending our moolahs.

Thanks for such a wonderful day girls and i'm looking forward to the following week. You guys light up my life and i can't live without you. I love you guys...

2008-03-05T12:16:00.000+08:00

It's finally here - the details of my teaching practicum. I've waited a whole year for this day to come and now that it has, it seems so surreal. The realisation that everything's more or less confirmed is starting to really freak me out. What shall we do now girls? Shopping, shopping and more shopping of course!

It's been exactly a year since i left for China. Time really does fly huh? I remember myself a year ago, lying on the hostel bed vowing to do all i can for time to pass. Tried to make myself as busy as possible by watching taiwanese dramas, signed up for dance lesson and the enthusiasm only lasted one lesson. Luckily the course fees cost 150RMB instead of 120 sing dollars over here. The third batch of CHS students left on the 28th february last week. I wonder if they're adjusting to the life in China just fine. I wonder if they're experiencing the same chilly winds as we did last year. I wonder if their all pissed of with WJ like we were (i guess its all still a little early to tell).

I recently bought two shirts and a jacket from Esprit. But before you guys start thinking that Karmene's filthy rich, wait a minute. I bought all the clothes at a sale which means that a normal shirt was sold for 15 bucks instead of a costly $24.90 and the jacket costs $53 instead of a whopping $109. Pretty good bargain and i'm happy with my buys. Next up - black pants and skirts, more shoes!!!

So glad that i'll be meeting yt and ql this friday. It's been 2 weeks since i last met up with them! Tuition and all. Looking forward to it and i miss you guys!

Did i also mention that i hate hypocrites? I happen to have another hypocrite among my friends and to think she twirled me round her little finger. I actually obediently let her play with me this way. Never. Never will this happen again. You little scheming bitch, don't ever let me see you again.

2008-03-01T13:39:00.000+08:00

I couldn't resist not writing anything today since its the 29th of February and it would be 4 years later before i get to see it appear on my blog page again.

I've been on a shopping spree recently what with my pay coming in and getting paid from tuition assignments. I couldn't resist getting into any shop possible at Orchard Road just to browse through their selections. Been hooked on to button shirts recently as i'm gonna need alot of them when i start my teaching attachment come july 2008. Well, it's just an excuse to spend those moolahs. Then again, button shirts nowadays are not only designed for work but also for casual wear. I try to psycho myself into believing such so i wouldn't feel so guilty about spending my hard earned money.

I've been fairly amazed at myself recently for being so hooked on to chinese books. A habit rarely seen. I'm proud of myself nonetheless. Basically, chinese books revolve around just one topic - love. Its not those sappy love stories but heart wrenching stories of people who sacrifice everything for love. I've just finished reading this book by Zhang Xiao Xian. A good read i would say and that brought fantasy to me. If only, i could meet a guy half as good as him, i wouldnt mind giving up a few years of my life.

It's the 29th of February today lads. What have you guys planned for this day that comes once in four years? I envisioned it to be really romantic, a day out with the love of my life, whispering sweet nothings into his ears and promising him a lifetime of love and care. A pity The boyfriend's at work and all that accompanies me now are my friends online. Appreciated nonetheless. A wonderful 29th February at home, sipping Ice Lemon Tea from Macdonalds. Now, that's life.

One day, that little heart may just stray...

2008-02-26T18:51:00.001+08:00

Enjoying a lazy Tuesday afternoon at home, a luxury i could not afford on normal Tuesdays, sipping my cup of bubble tea, trying to figure what went wrong with the website which shows the L word drama and when i finally got it started, bamp! My computer screen went blank on me. At first, i thought my laptop died on me but on further investigation, i realised that it was my adaptor that was spoilt. What luck. Now, i'm typing this entry on my family computer, using a rather crappy keyboard.

I don't think i have much to update just that i've finally graduated from Hip Hop I. Going to join Hip Hop 2 two weeks later. Can't wait!! And i so need to club to satisfy need to dance. Anyone on for clubbing?

You asked me last night what my previous entry was about. I denied and avoided the topic. You were curious, you were confused. It's alright, it'll pass.

I have finally discovered the evil side of human nature. I was disgusted by you. How could you? Ah, fuck off..

2008-02-25T13:45:00.000+08:00

Celebrated Qiaolin's 22nd birthday last friday and here are some pictures to illustrate that special day. Lunch at Swensen's was a nice affair. Headed down to Chinatown for our regular affair - singing and wrapped everything up at white dog's cafe,vivocity.

Yt and QL at the KTV room before we all got so tired of figuring how the remote control worked.

One musn't miss out a shot with the birthday girl.

The KTV room

Dear YT getting all hot and bothered with the remote control.

To my dearest QL, i hoped you've enjoyed this very special day. A very happy belated birthday to you my dear and i hope you like our presents.

Someone told me recently that i'm rather tackless when it comes to handling people. Well, i don't really care. I don't give a damn about people who isn't important to me.

I don't know who or what to trust anymore. If you think this is enjoyable, try it yourself.

2008-02-17T11:04:00.000+08:00

She could tell that he loved her completely. The love of his life, the reason for his living. All other things were secondary. To him, she was the source of his life. To him, she was the reason for everything. To him, she was his everything. But to her, he is just one of the many reasons to live. There are others out there also worthy of her attention. Friends, family, hobbies and what have you. But to him, it didn't matter what his place was in her heart. He just loved her with all his heart.

Then came along another her who wanted so much to give him happiness but he was too engrossed in her to accept changes or even try to adapt to another one. She yearned for so much, wanted much more for him but his heart is still very much attached to her. She didn't give up, she tried and she conquered.

Two years later, he finally looked at her in a different light. It was no longer just friends but more. However, that loving gaze, that tender touch was still reserved for her.

And on one accidental night, she found it. All the past memories of him and her.. She didn't want to think too much into it. She didn't want to read too much into it. Being the heavy thinker that she is, she thought long and hard all night. She finally came to a conclusion. She was just another chapter in his life. A chapter that could easily be forgotten.

2008-02-11T23:50:00.000+08:00

For everyone's benefit, darling and i are fine now. No thanks to you though. We've ironed things out and have decided to work hard towards our little future. We will stand strong regardless of whoever who tries to come in between us. Thanks for being patient with me baby and thanks for loving me with all your heart. I love you so much.

Again, just like all the other years, Chinese New year came and went. It was just a mere three days but i spent those days wonderfully going to grandma's hse for visiting then off to baby's hse. I enjoyed day 3 of the new year best for baby and i headed down to sentosa. Our first suntanning session at sentosa and i enjoyed it so much.

I have finally gotten my card reader which means that this post will be more pictures than talk. Enjoy you guys!!

First day of CNY. Baby came to my house for a quick lunch before heading to granny's house.

At granny's house on the first day on CNY. Boring was just the right description.

Our much awaited sentosa trip. Can you believe it? This is the second time baby and i went to sentosa even though we've been together for almost a year and a half!!! It was so much fun.

The boy acting cool.

So i decided to whip up my shades as well.

He says i'm 自恋

A random picture of my dog during CNY

Huskiee donning CNY clothes. Notice its the same as last year's.

Like a tourist.

Ooh, here's another cute picture.

QL and me on a random outing. Miss you my girl! And yt too!

And he just had to spoil that for me..

Nice...

All wet and tanned?

On our way to 红星酒楼 for our dim sum lunch. Man, am i missing it already!

A very advanced V day present for baby. Had to do it in what seemed like a toilet (it is by the way) for i was afraid of 'lighting' up his whole room. I'm never good with fires!!

The two of us together. It's a little blur but you get the picture. I love you my baby and i hope you like this sweet present of mine.

2008-02-08T03:17:00.000+08:00

新年快乐！万事如意！

A very happy and prosperous new year to everyone! May this year be a better year for you guys! Today started really early for me at 7am but went back to sleep as soon as i'm done with getting blessings from both my parents as well as some household chores.

This new year certainly proves to be very different from the previous years for i don't feel that much of an excitement. People tell me to behave myself while going house visiting. I told them i dont really care. My job is to collect hong baos.

So you finally knew huh? You can then stop all the pretense infront of me.

And thank you to a very close friend of mine.

2008-02-06T04:18:00.000+08:00

And i finally understood the true meaning of " action speaking louder than words"

Its so fucking ironic how you so sincerely claim one thing but do the other the very next moment.

Yes actions do speak louder than words. It's so fucking true. So fucking fake the world out there.

I don't like to repeat myself and i would love very much to bang your head against the wall like i do some watermelons. Or whatever fuck you can think of.

I so hate that pretense you're carrying.

Yes, i'm pissed. So pissed that i will do whatever it takes to piss you off as welll.

Maybe it will come one day..

2008-02-04T19:50:00.000+08:00

It has been too long, too long since we last met. I remember our last encounter was in September last year when i sent you guys off to China. I'm glad that you guys have had a wonderful time after hearing all about your wonderful stories yesterday.

Yes we finally met. After so long. As huiling wasn't free yesterday, i met up with Zhen Yuan for Kbox as well as a nice dinner at Clarke Quay - TCC. What a great time we had and i'm glad you're back to Singapore my dears. Do meet up soon some time.

Valentine's Day is coming. What should i get for my sweet baby? Hmmm....

2008-01-25T11:35:00.000+08:00

A tribute to Heath Ledger - I don't want to say goodbye

I don’t want to say goodbye

Let the stars shine through

I don’t want to say goodbye

All I want to do is live with you

Just like the light of the morning

After the darkness has gone

The shadow of my love is falling

On a place where the sun always shines

Don’t you know that’s where our hearts both belong?

‘Cause I don’t want to say goodbye

Let the sun shine through

No, I don’t want to say goodbye

All I want to do is live with you

Together, our two hearts are strong

Don’t you know that’s where our hearts both belong?

‘Cause I don’t want to say goodbye

Let the stars shine through

No, I don’t want to say goodbye

All I want to do is live with you

All I want to do is live with you.

2008-01-22T03:35:00.000+08:00

rSomeone said this to me yesterday, " I'm only optimistic when it comes to you." Having heard that, i can't help but be moved. After all, i bet no one has ever held me in that high a regard. I was touched by your words and even more touched by how you felt despite all my thoughts and opinions. I don't know what i can say in return but i can only manage a " thank you, you brightened my day with your words".

Schedule's packed like nobodies business and i only have one free day per week with absolutely no tuition! Can you believe it? The rest of the days are packed with tuition. Let's see, what do i have for this week?

Mon - dance
Tues - Tuition, tuition and more tuition
Wed - Tuition, meeting with dear ql and yt
Thurs - Free day
Fri - Tuition, meet up with dear amanda
Saturday - Tuition
Sunday - Tuition

For the benefit of others, i used to have a life before tuition started to bombard my life. Now tuition is tearing my away from my beloved friends. I used meet my dears once a week and now our weekly meetings have been reduced to once every fortnight! Man, i've missed you guys so much and i hope our friendship wouldn't get any further during this holiday period as i know we've all been busy...

Some food for thought : which hurts more? Reality or the truth?

Welcome home ZY and co.!

2008-01-18T16:51:00.000+08:00

It's one of those nights when i couldn't get to sleep no matter how hard i tried.

It's one of those nights when i suffer a writer's block. No matter how many things you wanna write, things just don't flow.

It's one of those nights i lay in my chair, thinking of the things i could have done. Things i could have prevented.

It's one of those nights i chide myself for being too impulsive. I guess i need to slow down sometimes.

It's one of those nights i take a slow walk down memory lane for the hundredth time and wondering what went wrong.

It's one of those nights when i start thinking on the issue of trust and credibility, giving and receiving, loving and being loved, etc etc.

It's one of those nights when i wish school was just tmr so i can just wake up, meet my friends and forget about everything i thought of the previous night.

It's just another one of those nights when i wish i could be happier.

Oh by the way i sold my Nokia 6680 for a mere $120. I didn't even take a second look at it. No goodbyes, no hugs. I hard-heartedly sold this phone to some ah beng. And to think that phone went thru thick and thin with me. Humans are ruthless aren't they?

Finally collected the last of my TCC pay. Perhaps that would be my last time going back there since the place no longer holds perfect memories for me.

So much for having a writer's block.

2008-01-14T23:35:00.000+08:00

I've decided to give it up. Makes no sense for me to continue when it's only going to make me more tired.

I've decided to give it another go. Hopefully things will work out for the better.

I've decided not to think about it anymore for the more i hesitate, the worse things are gonna be.

I've decided to accept my fate.

I have decided to buy the card reader no matter how much it costs me. It sucks not being able to transfer my photos from my camera to the lappy.

I've decided... but for all the thing that i've decided, i'm still very unsure...

And in just 6 days, ZY and Co. will be back from China. Time flies doesn't it..

Ok, I've decided not to dwell on the past anymore.

Argh.. Fuck it. When has my decision ever right?

2008-01-12T16:16:00.001+08:00

SHOULD I OR SHOULD I NOT?

The million dollar question in everyone's mind. If only one doesn't have to deal with decisions and choices, how nice life would be. However, life isn't fun if it isn't devoid of choices. Contradicting but true.

I've been faced with a dilemma for the past 2 days and i'm still thinking about it. Yes, sue me. ALL girls are fickle-minded. I guess i should just flip a coin and let nature decide for me.

Yesterday Lee, menghong, joyce and roger celebrated my really belated birthday for me. No photos taken which result in me realizing that i actually do have a sense of shame and not really that 'zi lian' after all. Sweet lee treated me to dinner at pasta fresca and i really enjoyed it. I woke up this morning craving for its fettucine. Don't ask me why it tasted so good, try it and you'll know. The pasta was cooked to perfection and the sauce was good. All in all, 5 stars for that dish! One drawback however, was that none of us knew how to pronounce the italian words stated on the menu which resulted in really embarrassing finger-pointing moments.

After dinner, we headed off to a club at clarke quay and i was asked to present my IC!!! #$%&*!!! Which means i should really learn to dress more sexily if not wear more heels. Perhaps like what Lee said, nightlife in singapore isn't happening till after 12 and i do agree with him. We got into the pub at 930pm (no cover charge by the way) and stayed till 11pm and the dance floor still remained empty with the exception of some girls dancing around their table. NO fun. However i did have my fair share of fun when i asked baby to dance with me. If only i led a wild life...

I enjoyed my day thoroughly as i've not met up with them in long time. Since Lee reads my blog quite often, we should get together to drink again sometime yeah? And we will party till we're crazy. Don't mind me, i'm just a small girl.

如果爱你是罪，我宁愿受错。如果想你是错的话，我宁愿错得心甘情愿。

2008-01-10T21:39:00.000+08:00

Qiaolin and Yiting have both blogged and i reckon i had better post something or it would really do injustice to the two days of fun i've had with them. It was just months back that we were talking about our much anticipated chalet and on the 7th of January, our incessant talk about the chalet has finally been realised.

Spending two whole days with the girls really brought me back to those memorable days in China. Take a look at this,

Kar to darling: " Baby we're on our way out of our hostel ay no! chalet. haha"

Kar to Ql: "Let's go back to our hostel...chalet. Ha ha ha"

Yeah, its no wonder why we kept thinking we were going back to our hostel (no scratch that!) chalet as we sleep together, eat together and even go out together! It was a nice affair though. The girls started staying over at my place on Sunday and i'm sorry you guys had to 'suffer' during your stay. I hereby apologize to you.

DAY 1 CHALET

The much aniticipated day has finally arrived. We arrived at costa sands slightly after 1 and we were whisked off to the room immediately. What prompt service you might wonder. I guess its only because it was a weekday and no one in their right mind would have a chalet on a weekday! Man, was i wrong! We deposited our bags and left for lunch as well as the arcade for some games. We were thoroughly bored as we were trying to find the newly opened Kbox at downtown east only to be told later by baby that its opening soon and not opened yet at all! Spend close to two hours eating and playing at the arcade as well as buying more stuff for the bbq. Returned to our room slightly after 3 and slacked around till 5pm.

I was thoroughly bored and kept pestering the girls to start the bbq. Talked about many things during the bbq ranging from boyfriends to our own fantasies be it sexual or non-sexual. All the time deciding if we should go to the newly opened kallang leisure park for singing. We decided to go in the end so we foregoed the 9pm show and left promptly at 9 for kallang. Reach the leisure park at 10:30pm and sang till 3am! We were the only customers! We had fun though we were thoroughly tired by the time we reach the chalet.

DAY 2 CHALET

Having spent the night singing away, we slept till 3pm the next day. A day wasted but well wasted for it rained the most part of the morning. We wouldn't be able to get anything fruitful done even if we had woken up early anyway. So we all woke up at 3pm and decided that we would wild our remaining time at wild wild wet. All geared up for some swimming and fun, we got changed and hurried down to wild wild wet only to find that they close on tuesdays! What luck!

Had lunch at Sakae Sushi, played a little arcade before heading back to the chalet for another round of tv watching. Wanted to start our bbq at 8pm but it started raining as soon as ql got the fire started. What a day! Now we didn't have our bbq and the chalet blacked out twice! How lucky can we get?

It was fun though and i wish we could have more of these in the future. I love you girls!

2008-01-06T11:24:00.000+08:00

I could have been really pissed.

I could have sprouted vulgarities in every message that i sent, every word that i said.

I could have complained to you and wished against all hopes that you would understand, you could feel how i felt.

But I didn't. Not because i was scared, not because i didn't want to but because i understood and respected you.

If i did, why am i still feeling this way? Why do i feel that i've lost the whole world? Why do i look at them and fantasize about the moments i can't have?

Perhaps after that incident, i have become more careful. I don't ever want to be what they call a dependent woman. After that incident, i have completely woken up and have been berating myself since. Why did i ever fucking open my mouth? Fuck you, Karmene. Fuck, have you forgotten what you've promised yourself? He made you lose your pride. He made you unworthy of yourself. He also made you feel like you're the lousiest woman in history. Then why the fuck are you following in her footsteps again and again? You were the pride-less woman, you were the bitch, you were the one he made use of. You were the one he never did love so why the fuck are you repeating all these again? Fuck you, karmene. I wish you could just disappear from this earth.

Don't ever find me again.

2008-01-05T01:50:00.000+08:00

THINGS GOING THROUGH MY MIND RIGHT NOW...

When payday's ever gonna arrive
Whether i will survive this year in a piece
How will my next tuition assignment be like?
Why isn't there a single free soul in the universe right now?
Missing tes badly
Thinking of the girls.. Hoping that our chalet will turn out fine
Desperately searching for dates to meet up on weekends as THE boyfriend isn't free so if anyone's reading this post, pls take the hint and DATE ME OUT!
Wondering what life consists of
Wondering how life would be if you're not around
Cursing bitches who spoil my day

Yup its the new year and here i am complaining already. I wonder if its such a good idea to concentrate only on tuition assignments and not finding a decent 9-5 job. I'm afraid i'm not getting enough exposure. However, i don't want to experience another fucked up working environment like that in TCC. If any of you haven't realised, i have stopped talking about TCC anymore and what does that mean? I'm no longer working there so sorry guys, i'm not able to hook up with any mangement trainees to get you guys free drinks. Oops!! Roger better not see this! Haha I do, however, still have my tcc discount card which gets you a 15% discount.

I don't know why i'm typing this entry in the first place. I guess the bottom line's that i'm bored. Oh i met Sarah today and i've missed her so much. Stood in the middle of parkway and started chatting for half an hour. It was nice to see you girl even if its for a while. Meet up soon again! I love you.

Ciao guys...

2008-01-03T05:19:00.000+08:00

Happy 2008 everyone!

It's a new year.

Let bygones be bygones.

Everything starts afresh.

Hopefully this will be a happy year.

P.S. looking forward to my chalet with the girls!

2008-01-01T01:50:00.000+08:00

My last post for the year 2007. I would have like to say that this year was like all other years - boring, but in all honesty it wasn't. This year has been one hell of a rollercoaster ride. I've had so much to experience this year from leaving loved ones to studying overseas, making and breaking of relationships, etc etc. A nice recap for the past one year.

January

Celebrated my third month anniversary with baby at cozy bay.

February

My second chalet my darling

CNY at roger's

March

China trip 2007

April

Shanghai

West lake

May

Dad and sis's visit in China

Huijun's birthday

June

Shaoxing

Shaoxing with my girls

July

Beijing

Last two days in China. Home finally

Back to darling

August

My first NDP rehearsal with darling

September

First Kiss anniversary

Farewell to my dearies

October

First year anni!!

And i love you

November

YT's sweet 19th birthday

December

Christmas!

22nd birthday

This year has indeed taught me one too many lessons. It has taught me to open my eyes to the people around me. See through their hearts, listen beneath each and every word they tell you and feel their sincerity (hypocrisy). Its ironic how people claim to be your close friend but forget you the minute something big happens in your life (e.g. your birthday). It's scary how someone tries so hard to make you feel bothered about something that happened in the past by pretending to be close to you and its completely idiotic by trying to affect me with silly nonsensical talks of the past. Grow up bitch, life's so much more than wanting people to be jealous of you and i'm sorry if you're still hanging on to the past.

No resolutions for the coming year just hoping that i will be happier in the months to come and i love you my baby darling. May we have a happy future together!

2007-12-31T01:50:00.000+08:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!!!

It's pictures galore time as promised in the previous entry! This is gonna be a really long post so readers, hold your breath!

More clothes for the coming new year? My presents christmas and birthday, all courtesy of darling baby. Thanks baby!

23rd December 2007

Qiaolin's virgin visit to my new house to celebrate christmas 2007!

Yiting's first visit too!

It may not look alot but trust me, we could only manage to finish a quarter of a turkey and the honey baked ham was left untouched! Small eaters or too much food? You decide for yourself.

First successful picture with baby. Happy christmas 2007!

Received a nice shirt from yt and a photo album from ql! Thank you guys. I love your presents alot!

24th December 2007

This was just like any ordinary day when i had to go for tuition and darling had to work. However, i did manage a few shots and tried my hand at durian pudding which was very delicious as quoted from dear dear.

Aww.. don't they look awesome together?

Pictures of my durian pudding will be uploaded soon!

26th December 2007

The day to remember as it was the first time i rented a car since i passed my driving test. It was a nice experience and truly amazing though i did bang into the wall while trying to get out of my parking lot. Fortunately for me, there were only a few scratches and i didn't dent the car. If i were given a chance to rent the car, i would think twice. Driving a car is fun but the cost i've got to incur sucks. Firstly the petrol costs a bomb then ERP's another killer. Shan't bore you guys further with my words. I shall let the picture do the talking!

Darling with honda fit!!

Clearly enjoying snapping himself!

Our virgin shot in the car.

One of our many firsts. First visit to Rochester park.

Had wanted to dine at one rochester but it was close for a wedding dinner. So we had to settle for No. 2 rochester park - North borders ( if i remember correctly)

Cam whoring again!!

Our starters - buffalo wings, sausages, jalapeno chillis, crab cakes and nacho chips

Fooling around

27th December 2007

Homecooked meal by darling baby. Yummy!!!

28th December 2007

Met up with yt and ql to celebrate my birthday. As something cropped up at home, i had to meet them at the usual time instead of earlier so they went into the steamboat restaurant first. They had asked for a three people table but paid for two as they didn't have enough cash with them. I joined them 10 minutes later and when the cashier approached me, i just told him that i was meeting my friends and that they are already in there. Without asking more or even asking me to pay, ( we went to joaquim and we had to pay before entering) he then whisk me off to the table where my friends were. There you have it, a free steamboat dinner and a wonderful girl's night out courtesy of ql and yt who provided me with three very nice presents - a bikini which ive been wanting to get in the longest time, a tube top from Mango as well as a very expensive birthday card. Thank you guys. I love you two so much.

29th December 2007 3pm -11pm

Spent the whole afternoon at baby's house just slacking around, going to Junction 8 for lunch then the AMK hub just the shop around. Headed back to his house slightly after 7 and we started cooking our dinner. Dinner was a nice affair with lots of ingredients and we were full to the max.

Watched boring soccer at 11pm. Manchester united vs Westham united. Seriously, if Man U didn't play badly i would have actually enjoyed the game instead of falling into deep sleep even before the second half.

11:45pm

Seeing that i was falling asleep on the couch, darling asked me to get into his room to sleep. I refused as i wanted to accompany him even though my heart and mind was elsewhere. HA HA HA. He insisted so i willingly let him whisk me into his room. Sensing that his heart and mind was still on that boring soccer match, i asked him to get back outside, finish the soccer match and wake me up when its done. He agreed.

11:55pm

Baby left the room and i was expecting to hear the sounds of football cheers or the commentor reporting on the match but no.. All i heard were sounds coming out from the kitchen. Drawers closing, the fridge door opening etc.

30th December 2007 Midnight

At the stroke of midnight, baby came into the room, sang a birthday song for me with a cake in his hands and was the first person to celebrate my birthday for me. He looked like an angel, carrying the litted cake and singing "happy birthday" in such a sweet voice, it could have melted anyone's heart. Yes, i'm dreaming but do give me this chance.. It only happens once a year.

Looking terrible, darling surprised me with a birthday cake as well as a song.

The delicious durian cake

Looking more presentable, i made a wish. I wish...

Yes! I'm finally 22!

Aww, flowers!!!

Me with the muscle man

Juggling the cake and the bouquet of flowers

A big kiss for my lovely boy

And i can't wait to have a slice of that yummy cake!

Sweets! I love you my baby boy. Thanks for making this day so special for me.

30th december 2007 3am - present

From 3am in the morning, or rather at the stroke of midnight, i've been receiving countless messages wishing my a happy birthday and i would like to thank all of you who haven't forgotten about this very special day of mine.

To amanda, yt, ql, lee loo, carline, vincent and all whom ive yet to mention, thank you very much! I love you guys!!

2007-12-26T01:28:00.000+08:00

Once again, christmas is here again and its a time for giving in to temptations, shopping urges as well as partying and spending the day with loved ones.

Giving in to temptations: Checked
Giving in to shopping urges: Checked.
Sweet baby accompanied me to shop for clothes, clothes and more clothes! Now, i've got a wardrobe full now new clothes. Courtesy of my baby!
Partying: Checked.
Just had a mini xmas celebration with my dears a few days back and it was a sweet affair. Sweet yiting got me an esprit top for my birthday whereas qiaolin got me a photo album which i've been meaning to get. Now, my desk is filled with pictures of us, a testimony to our friendship.
Spent the day with loved one: Checked.
Thank you sweet baby for spending the entire day with me, slacking around with me and doing the craziest things with me. Thanks baby. I love you so much. HAPPY SECOND XMAS SPENT TOGETHER! May we spend more christmas-es together.

Photos will not be uploaded in this post as there's some problem with the computer but be assured of those in the next entry!

Before i go, i would like to wish everyone a very merry christmas! Enjoy your day!

2007-12-17T02:10:00.000+08:00

It isn't everyday that i get to stay at home for a full day and so i decided to do a little something out of the ordinary today instead of spending the day sleeping away. I remembered right before my 8 months break (yes, i've just got to emphasize my 8 months of holiday) that i had wanted to try cooking and baking all sorts of food and baked i did for today, i tried my hand at baking the very popular Japanese Sponge Cupcake or as many of you know as ordinary sponge cupcake.

Set off a little late today at 1pm to Bedok central to get all the ingredients needed for today's bake fest including some utensils like the egg whisk, muffin tray as well as a tiny brush for greasing the muffin tray. As expected, i spent a whopping 20bucks on all these items. Money well spent i would say as i foresee myself baking more cakes in the future. Not like i'm gonna use the trays once and leave it to collect dust. Spent one and a half hours at Bedok central walking around and debating which supermarket i should get my stuff from and i decided on NTUC. I don't have a good impression of Sheng Siong supermarket and Shop n Save didn't have what i wanted.

Home sweet home at 3pm and i immediately got down to business. Spent slightly more than an hour preparing before whisking the yellowish mixture (or should i say liquid? That's how it looked it me) into the oven. The outcome was better than expected though i knew that i wasn't able to perfect it on my first time. I had added too much butter to the mixture resulting in the cake tasting a little too buttery. And who ever saw cupcakes which sank in? Well, mine did for i did not whisk the egg whites to perfection. Seriously, whipping the egg whites for a mere 5 minutes is enough to kill me. Thank god for electric whiskers. Ha ha. Despite the too buttery feel of the cake, some parts which were cooked to perfection tasted really good and as the name suggests, really soft. Perhaps i should try my hand at the sponge cake again before i start on another recipe. I must perfect it!

I know i haven't been uploading as many photos as i have promised so it's picture time for you guys who are dying to see how my cupcakes look like as well as the long overdued Changi Airport Terminal 3 photos. Not many but do enjoy.

Does it look delicious or Disgusting? My first attempt at cupcakes!

My poor dog who was suffering from a ear infection few weeks back. The collar's to prevent him from aggravating the condition by scratching his ear.

Ooh, look at those teeth!

Virgin shot at Changi Airport T3

Tourists we are not but we did enjoy snapping!

My favourite part of the airport - the arrival hall and also the most scenic.

2007-12-16T02:10:00.000+08:00

Too much drama in a day and i always thought that i would never be entangled in such a mess. So many people so many different stories and now, i'm confused. I do not know who to believe in. However i do trust you and there's no one else i would ever trust.

I always thought that things would be great. We were off to a great start but somehow today's turn of events made me think again. I don't know how affected you are by the recent spate of events and i could tell that you have more or less thrown in the towel. I get the distinct feeling that you've given up. Ever since it happened, things has changed. 我觉得我们越来越遥远。我已经无法触摸你内心在想什么了。我想你也累了。可能我才是真正的傻瓜，一个一直以为自己找到快乐的傻瓜。

And tomorrow officially marks the start of my two days break from work and tuition. I can hardly wait for next week marks the start of another busy week. It's so ironic that i want to go back to TCC to work in the hopes of getting back all happiness but only to have mixed feelings upon returning. I now dread going to work. My mouth weighs a ton when i'm there. My heart feels burdened.

And i'm not looking forward to this Sunday. I know i wouldn't be able to sleep peacefully so i'm hoping to drink myself crazy till i fall asleep...

2007-12-13T02:10:00.001+08:00

It has been a week since i last updated. Also, a week since i last had a good night's sleep. Well, its not very surprising given that i've been sleeping an average of 6 hours a day. I feel like i've been working forever but i've yet to get any monetary returns out of it. I'm tired, i'm pissed and i'm unhappy.

TCC is no longer how i imagined it to be. Instead of friendly staff that used to welcome me at the outlet, i realised that the service crew has suddenly become very interested in sucking up someone's ass. In short, bootlickers. It's totally disgusting when you see people trying so hard to be accepted by the management just to get out of some normal routine waitress job. HELLO?! You may be liked by the upper management but that doesn't give you the permission to do as you wish. Did i also mention that i'm like any ordinary staff as you? Don't you dare give me that almighty treatment.

As if work isn't bad enough, i've got more personal problems to tackle. I don't want to be a good friend to anybody anymore. I don't want to be the one initiating meet ups when i take second place in your life.

I don't want to bother myself with such minute stuff. For everyone's information, QL's home!!! Great babe! I've missed u so so much.

If you knew i was unhappy, why didn't you do something about it?

2007-12-07T22:09:00.000+08:00

I've been in a state of confusion lately.

I haven't been doing anything right.

Even with you, i feel like i've screwed up big time.

All i can say is i'm sorry. I didn't expect for things to turn out the way it did.

Man, now i feel embarrassed.

Ah, screw it. I need a drink.

2007-12-03T22:19:00.000+08:00

I WISH I COULD GIVE YOU UP

2007-12-02T22:19:00.000+08:00

Why is everyone blogging about christmas? Ah yes, cos december's here! Time flies doesn't it? Just last year, i was reveling in my new found relationship, dreading the impending China trip, busy with projects and bamp! The year's over and i'm all ready to brave yet another set of exciting challenges. With christmas comes the new year and that will be a time where i start making new year resolutions. Now now now, what shall i set to fulfil with the 8 months of hols i've got?

With what little time i've on hand right now, i shan't bother myself with such minute stuff. Let me gear up for a long and tiring day tomorrow shall we?

Work and tuition starts tomorrow again.

Life's a breeze with you around. I love you honey boy.

2007-11-30T22:19:00.000+08:00

So i've started work at TCC. I've been posted to the same outlet again. I had conflicting feelings when i found out i was posted to the outlet at circular road. Glad because i would be 'back in the arms' of my ex-colleagues but sad because some of them had since left the company. Now that i'm no longer a new girl, i do not have any excuse for not remembering certain stuff, for not performing up to task and obviously, i do not have any excuse for unpardonable behaviour. However, some still feel that i need to be coached and repeatedly telling me things that i already know of.

Going back to the same place after a year brought back many sweet memories. It was there i met my close friends. One of them is apparently happily attached to another staff who started work a few months ago while the other has left the company in search of greener pastures i would say. I would enjoy going to work because of them and because i knew they would make me happy. Things are different now. Instead of feeling happy, i feel a sense of dread when work starts again next monday. I'm thinking of ways and means to escape from this 'sad-happy' job. You guys may not understand but i do with all my heart. Where are you guys?

Then again, i should be thankful that i've got a job which could tide me over for the next 5 months at least. Oh well, fuck this job. Just let me earn more money...

2007-11-26T19:32:00.000+08:00

My deepest condolences to the 5 dragonboaters who lost their lives in Cambodia. How sudden this piece of news came to us, how quickly death comes and goes. My sympathy goes out to the family members involved in this terrible incident. As with other unnatural deaths, this incident has taught me to treasure my family members and loved ones more. To you, you know who you are, i love you and i will treasure you.

Yes, a pretty melancholic opening for what seems to be my first entry in one and a half weeks. Yes, i haven't been updating in a long time. Don't ask me why i haven't been updating when i've got so much time at hand. Basically, life's been really mundane for me and there's nothing much happening in my otherwise boring life. BUT all's about to change when i start work AGAIN at TCC. Yup, i've once again applied for a job there. Where i will be working and when will be posted at a later date. Hopefully i will be posted to a branch in town.

Nothing major happened recently just that i visited Changi Airport Terminal 3 with baby. Nothing spectacular as most of the shops aren't open yet but i like the atmosphere there. Really peaceful and quiet. The perfect place to study and relax. Photos will be posted at a later date. Till then guys...

2007-11-21T07:32:00.000+08:00

Like they always say, better late than never. Yes i have been neglecting this little blog of mine since my exams ended. Too busy, too little time for myself. We were crazy when etymology exam ended for that day marked the start of our 8 months of holidaying. Yes, 8 months and i'm saying it for the benefit of those ill-informed or those who have only a mere 2-3 months of break! Kar's now free to do whatever she wants until school term starts in august! However, i will be really busy in a few weeks what with the start of baking class, work, tuition and more work.

Yes, you've not read it wrong. Karmene's going for her first ever baking class! No, i won't burn down the kitchen, i wouldn't mix sugar with salt, neither will i create a mess out of the kitchen! Class starts November 24th this Saturday and i'm so looking forward to it not because i love baking but because this will be the first time that i will be attending a course with my poly buddies, yt and huijun! ( Yeah qiaolin doesn't wanna join cos she knows she will burn the kitchen down. Ha ha ha. Just joking babe. *what the hell?!*)

The past week or rather past two weeks have been fully utilized for meet ups with one of my closest buddies as well as celebrating dear yt's birthday. Shall say no more for i'll let the pictures speak for itself. Realized its been a long time since i last posted any decent pictures so do enjoy...

Amanda dear and me at Kbox. I had a blast of a time then!

Yt's birthday celebration at Sizzler's Suntec City on 15th November 2007

Her sweet birthday present from ql and me

Loves...

Another shot with the birthday girl

Like a little kid, rejoicing over snacks!

To my baby: thanks for always fooling around with me!

And i love you so...

2007-11-13T20:19:00.000+08:00

Its so ironic. How much i wanted to exams to end but when tomorrow's my last paper, i suddenly feel a sense of loss. I don't know what else to do for the rest of the 8 months. Well, what i do know, is that i've got activities packed till the end of December what with yiting's birthday celebration, christmas celebrations, meet-ups, my birthday celebration as well as count down to the new year. Once again, its time to make resolutions for the new year. That aside, let's just focus on the present shall we?

I'm glad to say that our Hongkong trip is more or less finalised. Having being given the green light from all our parents, we will start planning for our trip officially tomorrow. Can't wait. First holiday with friends without being tied to school. First shopping trip with friends. I should be excited shouldn't i? But at this point in time, there are stuff to settle before i can put my mind into planning for the trip.

Relationships are like rubber bands. All's well and happy when its loose and bouncy. However, when one party begins to pull one end of the rubber band lightly, it becomes a little tight. Still happy though but the shape has already taken a turn for the worse. A stronger pull, the rubber band becomes a little elongated. Corners begin to form, corners are the start of an end. A rounded corner though but a corner nonetheless. A little more and the rubber band becomes rectangular in shape. Now, the corners are more defined. When corners become more distinct, the rubber band would have reached its maximum capacity. It's at its optimum stretch level. It's just waiting for a littlepush before it bounces off. Now, the rubber band is only holding on with all its strength. Either one end of the band is moving closer to the other end to closen the gap or the force isn't great enough to break the band. Then again, a rubber band seldom breaks does it? It just bounces back to its original shape and continues looking. You are that rubber band. The cornered rubber band who is ready to snap anytime. While the other end of the rubber band is desperately trying to close the gap. Don't pull anymore. The other party will let go.

2007-11-11T19:56:00.000+08:00

ENDURE ENDURE ENDURE!!!

Just three more days and we will be off to freedomland! One day in fact for tmr we'll be facing the greatest challenge of our lives! That's our grammar test! After that, everything will be more or less relaxed. I'm already in my holiday mood. Any plans for meet ups after next wednesday are fully welcomed.

I wonder if you were talking about me. Did it really matter that much to you? Whatever happened between us was real? I just think it was a pity to let it all go. If only we weren't too impulsive, we might have solved it better or maybe, still be together. If only...

And when will you ever come to your senses? When will you ever think? When will you ever be ready to stop playing the fool? You think you know me so well yeah? well fuck off. I know myself better than you. I don't want you in my life anymore. I just wish i could be rid of you but you follow me like a leech. Fuck.

Happy 400th day baby. Its been so long and i love you so much

2007-11-07T18:34:00.001+08:00

I know i haven't updated in the longest time. Haven't had the mood what with projects and exams coming up all at once. Well, the good news is, i'm done with all my projects for this sem. The bad news is, i'll be stucked at home for the next few days desperately trying to understand MODGRA. Seriously, what is it with nouns, pronouns, adverbs, adjectives and the likes? Its driving all of us crazy! As quoted from Chen Zhi Quan, " it's useless. Extremely useless if you want to use it on Primary school kids". So why the fuck are we learning it? Argh... endure endure...

Did i mention that i miss you? I miss the times we used to go out together, just chill and talk about anything under the sun or the moon rather. It seems so long since we last did anything like this together. You seem so far away from me now but i'm still hoping that one day, you will come back to me and we'll do all the crazy things together again. I miss you chin! I hope you're having fun over at the states but DO NOT forget your poor fren over here! Lots of love.

Once again, i've been fired from my tuition job. What is it with the kids nowadays? Or even the parents? I refuse to take any blame for the kid's poor results for i felt that i have put in my 101% effort. However, what do i get in return for spending days trying to figure out a perfect method to teach the kid? I see her staring at the clock on the wall every other second. Hello?! My face isn't on the wall. If you want knowledge from the wall, you can jolly well go stick yourself against the wall. And my chinese lesson has become so torturous only tic tac toe can save her. What the hell?! ( Qiaolin, this is for you. I don't forget you in times of need). When asked her results, i just got an " results not very good" for an answer. Hello?! How "not very good" are her results right? When asked if tuition's still on this friday, i actually got an " my daughter is more interested in group tuition" Like what the hell?! Please think of a more intelligent excuse! I'm sure her daughter would love staring at the wall during group tuition or staring at her friend's watches for that matter as the teacher wouldn't even care given that he/she has another 10 students or so to care for. So good riddance to that girl and her mother. Actually her mom isn't all that bad but i guess her instructions sucks la. Yah, again not my fault that her daughter didn't score well in her exams! Who said that concentrating only on essays would make her daughter score well?! What the fuck?!

Wow, felt so good after letting it all out. To Yiting, a blog is for you to write whatever you want, use any language and i totally support you. To hell with people who misinterprete your intentions alright? I love you babe so so much!

Oh by the way, a very happy 13th month anniversary to my baby!! I love you so much and thanks for being with me through thick and thin! I love you I love you I love you

2007-10-28T21:37:00.000+08:00

Hello guys! Its been so long since i last blogged. Been so busy with school and other activities that i hardly have time to come online to blog! Thank goodness next week's the last week of school and very soon, i'll be counting down to my well deserved holidays! 6 months of nothing but rest and relaxation! How cool is that? Well, before i start on my activties for the next 6 months, let's just wrap up what i've done for the past one week shall we?

Monday
Always a torture for we all have to endure XXX's lecture. It's amazing how all of us managed to survive the past 2 and a half months of pure toture. Not only do we not understand a single shit the lecturer's talking about, we even have to bear with the lecturer's sarcasm. What the hell?! ( specially for qiaolin) Thank god tomorrow's the last lecture or i really wouldn't know how to bear with it!

Tuesday
Not so much of a torture but school ended real late on that day. Luckily for us, lecturers are all wrapping up their syllabus. Hopefully there will be no more hurrying and rushing the coming week. Tuesday was the start on a tiring week after having two long whole days in school.

Wednesday
Attended luo fu teng's lecture and we were asked to do an evaluation. Why are we always asked to do an evaluation only at the end of each semester? Shouldn't it be halfway through the term? This way, the lecturer's would be able to know his faults and rectify them asap so that his students get the most of his lessons. Handing out evaluation forms at the end of each semester only enables the lecturer to review his teaching methods only at the end of the module enabling him to do better in the following semesters FOR OTHER STUDENTS. Get this, NOT US. What the hell?! ( Again, dedicated to qiaolin)

Thursday
A tiring day. Had my first ever excursion in NIE. It was a learning journey, something in which we all have to go through thru out our primary and secondary school years. I learnt alot albeit the hot weather and the fact that i wore jeans. Ha ha ha. Visited places such as Little India, Chinatown as well as Kampong Glam. It was an interesting excursion but i'm sure lecturers over at NIE could do better with the pricing. $25 for 3 hours of running and rushing is a bit to ask of us poor students.

Straight after the excursion which ended at a late hour of 6pm, qiaolin, yiting and i rushed to city hall hoping to grab a quick bite before yiting whisks off for her driving while sweet qiaolin stayed with me till my dance. Yes, last week was the start of Reggae 2 for me and it was tough! Lots of shaking and sweating but it was a good workout though. I'm looking forward to the next lesson!

Thursday was also a fiery day for me. Sorry to whoever i lost my temper to. PMS-ing isn't a good excuse for my temper i know and i do apologize with all my heart. I love you so much my baby.

Friday
Last day of the week is always fun for we've got weekends to look forward to and the fact that the coming week's the last week gives us more reason to rejoice. Nothing much happened in school that day just that it was a slack day. Oh did i mention that i had a very embarrassing encounter at NIE's canteen? All because we (qiaolin and i) were afraid of houseflies. Thank god yiting wasn't with us or she would be so embarrassed to have us as her buddies.

Saturday
Went shopping for our household furnitures at places like victoria street, balestier plaza as well as katong mall. I'm glad to say that i've gotten my study chair which means that i no longer have to sit on the floor to do my work!

Went the the biggest car showroom in Singapore at Ubi ave 2 and i was greatly disappointed for my Kia Picanto was out of stock so i'm desperately trying to find someone who is willing to sell off their second hand picanto at a reasonable price. Yes, the sales consultant was right. No use getting a brand new car when i'm still a greenhorn to driving. Perhaps i will upgrade to a better car when i'm more financially stable. Nissan march maybe?

Today
And i miss my baby so much. Thanks for everything my love. You light up my life and you're my source of support. I wouldn't know what to do without you. I love you so much

2007-10-17T21:37:00.000+08:00

As the saying goes, "Better late than never". Well, i do agree with this sentence to a certain extent. After many failed attempts, i have finally passed my driving test and have gotten the much coveted driving license! I'm just short of a car. Sponsors anyone?? I wanna thank everyone who has been supporting me all these while...

To my ever so excited Yiting, thanks for always being there for me!

To the ever so concerned Qiaolin, thanks for calling and messaging me when you didn't hear from me after a long period of time. I love you!

And to you too, my dearest Amanda. Thanks for everything!

Last but not least, thank you to someone who has been there for me thru thick and thin. Someone who never fail to make me laugh. Someone who never fail to control his temper whenever i'm PMS-ing. Thank you Darling. This license's for you. I love you.

3 more weeks till the end of school. Come on girls, you can do it!

2007-10-09T21:37:00.000+08:00

I realised that the Singapore education system isn't all that flawless after all. From the teaching of the chinese language to the requirements of us teachers, i have found so many loopholes. Teachers now hold the awful responsibility of delivering what they have learnt to their pupils. Teachers have this huge burden of ensuring their students pass with flying colours. However, how is this possible when there are flaws even in the Chinese language textbook? Shouldn't the books be accepted by all chinese teachers? Why is it that even workbooks and textbooks are not acceptable by NIE teachers' standards?

Had my longest ever lesson at NIE today, sitting at the lecture theatre for three hours straight without even going out for a toilet break. Yes, teachers at NIE are very passionate when it comes to teaching. Yes, they are very knowledgeable and intelligent and what have you. Perhaps, they are too passionate. They could talk on and on for 3 hours without even stopping for a toilet break or a water break. Yes, we're nearing the semester and there's a need to wrap up the syllabus but the problem is, why wait till there's 5 weeks left to holidays and you start rushing like nobodies' business? Granted, you were ill last week but what about the other lecturers? One either wastes too much time asking questions or the other's too "lor soh" spending an hour revising the previous week's lecture leaving just one and a half hours to complete a total of 60 powerpoint slides leaving us all confused and irritated at the end of the lesson. The student suffers when the teacher comes unprepared for the lesson. How very true.

Never mind, from young we've learnt that students have no say in whatever the teacher's teaching, we students have got no say in how the teacher teaches as long as he/she completes the syllabus. If only schools were as liberal as the US government, i would have stood up in class and corrected each and every teacher and tell them our feelings. What a thought. What a dream. Ah, just live with it i guess. I just hope i'll be a better teacher in time to come.

P.S. I miss THE boyfriend

2007-10-08T15:16:00.000+08:00

I'm happy tonight. Don't ask me why but i am. Only you know the reason for my emotions. Thank you for making this day so special. Thank you for making the past year so memorable. Thank you for being so patient and kind. Last but not least, thank you for loving me.

Caught "A walk to remember" on Channel 5 today and it brought me thinking. Love, a simple word yet has an undeniably huge effect on a person. Love, a simple feeling, yet has the power to change anyone. I felt the same after watching "World trade centre". I felt the need to tell my loved ones that i will love them and cherish them till the day that i die. I felt the urge to hug my dearies and tell them how much i love them. Lastly, i felt the importance of life. Never will i stupidly try to end any problems with suicide.

I'm now counting down to the end of october. By then, the bulk of my stress would be gone. By then, i would almost be free to do whatever i wish to do. 15th November to be exact. The day of my freedom. The day when i start anew. The day when i will start planning for my future...

39 more days to freedom

2007-10-02T21:37:00.000+08:00

In Darkness

Time seems to be slipping away and with each passing day, i feel more and more stressed up over school what with projects and tests coming up. All undone because i've been procrastinating since day one. One good thing however, is that we're only left with 5 weeks of school before we start on an endless holiday. Man, am i counting down to the days when i can sleep in till 10am, slack and eat then go back to sleep again.

Things are going alittle slow for me these days and with each passing day, i feel my health deteriorating further. First, there was this infection which kept me running the the toilet every 5 minutes, then there was this awful pain in my back which worried me. Next, my collar bone started hurting like nobodies' business and finally, my foot's swollen. Not the whole foot, just the joint which connects my big toe and my foot. Yeah, how did i ever get to hurt that part? Beats me as well. Perhaps i really am losing myself with each passing day. Not good for a young and pretty girl to be this sick all the time. Then again, my appetite hasn't decreased in the least bit. Perhaps this is what they call it, the glow before death? Ha ha

胡老师 called in sick today but she still endured her gastric pain to come to school just to give us instructions for the next assignment as well as to give us our mini test. I so admire her. Looking at her pale face standing infront of us today gave me an undescribable urge to go right up to her and give her one long comforting hug. I know how it feels like having gastric pains. Trust me, you couldn't even stand properly. Sometimes, even sitting down is a torture to you. Then, i told myself that i want to be a responsible teacher like her. I want to be as responsible to my students as she is to us. Then again, QL said that with my low moral values, its a bit too much to ask. Well my dear, we'll just see how it goes yea? I may just be enlightened in the next few days and be as good as can be! Take care my dear teacher.

Soon, i'll be completing my course in Reggae I, introductory course. I have to say i'm really proud of myself. I came, i dance, i conquered, all by myself. People say i'm crazy. People say i'm weird but what's wrong with doing things all by myself? Dancing doesn't have to be in pairs. Talking about dancing in pairs, ROGER TAN remember what you promised me!!! Learning a new type of dance is always challenging and i'm proud to say that i'm getting the hang of it. 3 weeks later, i'll be embarking on another level of Reggae and let's hope i do as well yeah?
*crosses fingers*

A week ago, i celebrated a very important day of my life at a pub in Clarke Quay - Crazy Elepant. It was one of the best nights of my life. We started off with dinner at Manhattan Fish Market. Man, the seafood platter was HUGE! This was my first time ever with baby and i truly enjoyed myself. The food mostly, ha ha. Next, we went to a place which was unforgettable to us in everyway. The drinks, the atmosphere, the date as well as that something special. I will remember this day for the rest of my life baby. I love you so much and thanks for being there for me whenever i needed you.

Mouth watering seafood platter!

Us at Manhatten Fish Market

Crazy Elephant - that special place, that special date

Yup, cam whoring as usual.

My partner in crime

Cheers to that special day!!

After all that i've eaten, all that i've drank, it is time for me to lose some serious weight. Urgh! If only one never gains any weight..

2007-09-28T21:37:00.000+08:00

Haven't updated in almost a week and in just a short span of one week, many unexpected things happened. For one, it hit me really bad as it concerned one of my closest friends. My dear, you know who you are, i sincerely hope things are going on fine with you. Remember, you still got me. I will always be here for you.

I spent an entire day slacking at home on monday morning and it turned out to be really good for i sorted out my thoughts. Well, most of them in fact. I'm still trying hard to let go of some really stubborn feelings. Thank you to those who have listened to me patiently without trying to turn my pathetic plight into some kinda joke. Thank you too for those who has given me nothing but trouble and worries. You did a really good job. You have added yet another worry to my already long running list. I do appreciate all the effort you've put in. I have to say, you have succeeded in making me or us who i(we) are today. I am just intruder aren't i? You're so afraid of me turning it into a minus 1 huh? Well, why don't you ask * what * has done? There, only would you know the full story.

Have you guys heard of the new song by fang wei qi? Its called "zhe xue jia" loosely translated as philosopher. If only i was a philosopher, i would be able to forget your name in an instance. If only i was a philosopher, i would be able to fuck off from you.

Oh one more thing. WE really do hate you. It's not a feeling. Its a fact.

2007-09-23T19:44:00.000+08:00

Haven't blogged in the longest time and for a split second, i had the thought of abandoning this blog altogether. Why post yet another melancholic post again? Why make my readers speculate all that has happened to me again? I'm seriously sick and tired of blogging, especially when all my emotions comes out negatively.

The past week hasn't been smooth. It still isn't. I wonder when i'm gonna get myself out of this but i'm thinking it will take time. People around me say i've changed and i wonder if i really have. It hurts me to hear that come out from my close friends. Have i really changed into someone no one can communicate with? Am i so predictable?

I'm in a tate of loss. I no longer know what belongs to me and what doesn't. Can i not have anything at all?

2007-09-15T19:44:00.000+08:00

I may appear to be strong.

I may appear to be really crappy and crazy.

I may appear very happy.

But trust me, its fucking hurting inside.

That's how life is huh? How ironic.

2007-09-14T05:43:00.000+08:00

From failed relationships to friendships, there isn't a single thing i manage to do right. I've been reviewing myself for the past two days and have finally came to a conclusion, that i'm a failure. I failure in every possible, imaginable way. I don't know how i managed to do it but the amount of effort that i put in the my returns seem to have something against each other, or rather, they like eah other alot. The more effort i put in, the worser my returns. Now, this then brings me to a question, would putting in less effort derive greater returns? I'm afraid not. It just doesn't work in my case. Rewards are benefits just have soemthing against me. I can't seem to get them no matter how hard i try.

Apparently, i seemed to have failed with you. Oh fuck, i didn't fail you. You failed me. No matter how hard i try, i get pushed even further away. What the fuck? You come to me only when you've got problems to tell and expect me to all concerned and worried but you fuck off the very next moment when someone does something nicer or makes you happy even for just one second. Fuck man, i'm no caller machine whereby you just vent all your sorrows and unhappiness then scoot off like nobodies' business. And you still called me your bestie. Fuck, i don't deserve this status. It's all too high and mighty for me. Too much stress to handle. Just fuck me off your so-called bestie list. I'm not the only one and i'm sure there are others out there DYING to be on that to-die-for list. If being your bestie meant that i'm only able to talk to you when you're fucking down and having to always arrange for meetings, meetings in which you are either too busy to attend or meetings in which you just cancel off at the very last minute and just leave me hanging there. And i haven't even heard from you after you cancelled on me. If i hadn't messaged you out of concern, you might have even forget about this bestie. You know what? You can just fucking fuck off. I will not, i repeat, will not take the initiative to ask you out ever. Neither will i play the nice friend that i am, waiting for you to call me ONLY when you've got problems. Fuck man. Go fuck yourself please.

Oh and did i mention that i hate being someone else's spare tyre? Just fuck off already right? To think i've been in the dark all along. To think that i was trying to change myself into a better person to suit you but all along, it just isn't enough. You just want me to be her don't you? Doll myself up like her? I have totally lost to you. Yes, you won only by a mere fraction. What if i told you i was also moulding you into him? How would that feel? That feeling sucks ain't it? If you never put yourself in my shoes, you will NEVER fucking understand how i feel.

Oh, no more tank tops and bohemian skirts for me. Fuck that off my wadrobe. I swear i will never wear that again. Go find someone else you can mould. I'm not your puppet

2007-09-09T06:03:00.000+08:00

Right, and so there goes my one week holiday. Been pretty stressed up for the past two days rushing assignments and facing the computer a few hours a day. Thankfully, all's done with the exception of a two more projects waiting to be completed. I can finally bid adieu to the most hated e-learning week. One good thing, however, was that i caught a few more hours of badly deprived sleep. Once again, school will start and it's back to late nights and early mornings for me. I do wish i buck up for the second half of the semester though. I don't want to see myself failing any modules. Talking about failing, my results will be out real soon. Hold your breath guys.

6th September 2007 was a nostalgic day for me as well as, i'm sure, the second batch of CHS students. I arrived at the airport slightly after 1030pm to be greeted by huge crowds of people. Friends sending friends off, relatives sending their daughters or sons off, excited chattering could be heard from all over the airport as well as emotional scenes witnessed by me. Looking at them brought back happy and sad memories for me. I could never imagine leaving YOU again for that faraway land. I could never imagine not hugging YOU or feeling YOU for the next 5 months. How glad i was just a spectator. How glad i was just someone in the crowds, sending another friend off. I did feel nostalgic though. Truth be told, i do miss China a great deal. Wait, ONLY after my exams were over. The period before sucks and it was only when everything was cleared that i was able to spend some well deserved time with my buddies. Thanks guys, you have made me realize how important friends are and i will cherish you forever.

Now with all my friends overseas, its no wonder why i'm constantly stucked at home, blogging my time away as well as turning to crunchyroll to catch the dramas i've missed out when i was in China. To my cheen - mates, do watch mars vs venus if time permits, not a bad show and it really does make you understand more about men and vice-versa.

And i'm feeling better. But i still hate YOU. That's how the world goes round babe. You either win or lose. Fuck off.

The trio. I'm so gonna miss you guys.

And you too, sweets. You've light up my life

2007-09-05T15:31:00.000+08:00

And e-learning week is into its halfway mark. So is my life. I see myself slacking and lazing around at home for the past three days. This isn't what i expected for my holidays to be! Where's everyone when i needed them? I seriously feel that holidays are a bother. Not only do you have to worry about the tons of homework to be completed, you've got to worry also about the places to go, the people to meet as well as fending off some very irritating people who gets on my nerves constantly. Seriously, is it a little too much to ask for you to be real? Then again, two can play at a game. Any game.

Having lots of time at hand, i'm doing what i do best. Thinking. And lots of them. I deem myself a very pessimistic girl. Any little obstacle that comes my way, i consider it an omen. It doesn't matter if anything good comes out of it. What matters that it existed and its taunting me to give up. Its snarling at me. Its laughing at me, " You bloody fool. Come, take me on. Don't you dare? Come and we'll see who gets the last laugh". Fuck you. Don't you dare talk to me like that. Don't you just wanna give it your all, fight till your very last breath? Yup, fight i did. A very terrific fight i would have to say but i'm always exhausted at the end of the day and before i have yet to replenish my lost energy, the fight starts again. This time, stronger and scarier than before. How many normal beings can take this kinda mental torture? One's already enough and i have to deal will three! Alright, stop. You win. I admit defeat. Go get your prize. And there, i throw away all my shields and blades and walk further and further away from my prize. Yup it's time anyway. I could go to highler lands. Lands where i could reap harvest without working too hard.

Recently yt flared up at her granny and glad she did for she has been keeping it in her for the longest period of time. I wish i could do likewise. I wish i could flare up at YOU. However, we're good friends aren't we? Flaring up would mean all these are just a show of pretense wouldn't it? Flaring up would just show that i'm the weaker one wouldn't it? Well, i just wouldn't. Lets see who gets the last laugh.

Looking at all the problems i have to deal with, its pretty amazing that i haven't yet suffered a nervous breakdown. Somebody get me a tiger. I need to drown my sorrows in beer.

2007-09-03T15:31:00.001+08:00

Finally its the start of our very first e-learning week at NIE. Having had two whole days of fun-filled activities, i'm lazing around at the comfort of my own home, sleeping in and enjoying some well deserved time with my dog. It's not often that i get to laze at home, enjoy the nice weather and sleep in. Seriously, i got to do this more often. Too much running about is putting a strain on my health, both mentally and emotionally. I would have to say the past two days was well spent though. Not forgetting to mention that the past two days were spent with my precious as well.

1st September 2007

My busiest weekend eversince i started school. Kicked off the day with Kbox at Marina Square. My last ever meet up session with Zhenyuan and Huiling before they leave for China. Nevertheless, we had an enjoyable time. I'm really glad we managed to meet up even though we've all been busy.

After singing, Baby and i headed to the Esplanade to catch our very first performance at the esplanade, Burn the Floor - Floor Play! Was it amazing to see those scantily clad dancers strut their moves! Seated at the first row, i was practically drooling away. Luckily darling was beside me to distract me from ogling at those really good looking guys! All in all, it was a fun afternoon and am i looking forward to my ballroom dancing class with darling if that ever happens! Ballroom dancing will never be the same again!

Caught 1408 to sum up the hectic yet enjoyable afternoon. Wasn't really a nice movie though i was shocked to death for the first part of the movie. John Cusack is a really good actor but apparently, the movie lacked depth and it all ended off too abruptly leaving me clueless about certain stuff. Hotel rooms truly are a scary place. I've heard many stories about it. Perhaps i should stay away from hotel rooms as much as possible. Room 1408, anyone?

Soccer was another boring affair for me. This time, i truly slept throughout the match and i didn't even wake when Man U scored the goal against Sunderland! I guess i was really tired to start with and soccer really isn't my thing. I still have to thank my baby for accompanying me the whole day. Thank you sweetheart. I love you to bits.

2nd September 2007

Sunday wasn't as bad as Saturday for i slacked the day away. Had a rather nice dinner at granny's house. We celebrated her 81st birthday. Imagine that! She's a healthy 81 years old! Many thoughts ran through my mind upon leaving her house mainly, life and death. I see my aunties and uncles gathering around my granny just to spend a few more moments with her on her birthday. A rare sight i would say because i dare say this is the first time i've ever witnessed such a touching sight. The whole family gathered together as one, sharing about their life and behaving like they really are a closely knitted family. Why all these hypocrisy? Why all this talk of filial piety when you all know that the end is near? Why start to cherish only when you know you haven't got much time left? I want to be happy when my loved ones leave this place and not crying and wailing that i haven't got enough time for them. I don't want to be cherishing them only when their end is near. I don't want to follow in my relatives' footsteps. I want to be different. I want to cherish every little thing i have of now.

Sweet, sweet sweet!! Cookies from the Cookie Musuem. A teacher's day present from darling to me.

Couple day with zhenyuan and huiling. Kbox at marina square!

The other couple

The three of us with baby in the background obviously oblivious to everything when it comes to singing!

Ah! Look at that! Burn the floor tickets!

First ever photo taken at the Esplanade. Before Burn the Floor

Us at granny's birthday celebration

The whole company with granny

2007-08-30T17:03:00.000+08:00

It's funny how we go to the same place almost everyday but i never did run into you. Not once.

It's funny how much i care.

It's funny how much i actually bother.

Fuck, why the heck am i even bothering when i think i have nothing to fear?

Do i have a reason to fear? Or am i just thinking too much?

Another thing, its funny how i so wish for you to fuck off but you still keep butting your way in. Fuck you. Fuck the hell out of you. No one needs you and obviously not me, thank you very much.

It's funny how much i wish to breakdown, get away from here...